Part 2
Roberts Residence
Christmas Eve, 2004
Late Evening
Harriet lounged on the huge sofa that sat between the tree and the roaring fire. This time she’d insisted on a traditional dinner. Even her parents had been invited. Naturally, they’d declined; another cruise was on the horizon.
Dinner was over and presents had been exchanged. Everything was ready for Santa’s little nocturnal visit. Harriet leaned back as she took in all the sounds. Harm and Mac were doing the dishes. The Admiral was upstairs supervising his namesake’s bath and Mike was rocking Jimmy. She had no idea where her father-in-law was, nor did she care.
Clay put another log on the fire and settled next to her. "How’s your side?"
The doctor had prescribed Tylenol-3 ™ to accompany her three stitches. She was definitely feeling no pain. In fact, a gentle haze had cocooned her for most of the night. "It’s fine." She took his hand and held it in her lap. Laying her head on his shoulder, she got lost in the flames of the fire.
The next morning found her staring at the ashes of that once-blazing fire. Blinking the sleep out of her eyes, she tried to get her bearings. The chill of her hand proclaimed the early hour; the automatic thermostat Harm had installed two weeks ago hadn’t cycled yet. Looking towards the windows, she saw it was still dark outside. Only the lights from the alarm sensors lit the room.
Except for her hand and nose, she felt toasty warm and safe. Closing her eyes, she lazily realized that someone was with her. For the first time in over six months Harriet felt the comfort of a male arm wrapped securely around her waist. Just feeling his hot breath against the skin of her neck sent a small tingle down her spine.
She simply lay there, her head cradled in the crook of his arm, reveling in the closeness of his embrace. Of course, she knew who it was. She’d grown used to his presence in their lives, almost dependent upon it. She knew exactly how dangerous those feelings could become. She sensed his conflicted emotions when it came to her and the boys. There was no doubt about the love he felt for the boys. Unfortunately, Harriet had no idea if he felt anything more than friendship for her. Did he harbor a secret hope that Bud would return some day? He’d talked a little about his own father and she knew that family was extremely important to him.
"I thought you and Bud had it all," he’d told her; several times, in fact.
Everyone at JAG had been affected in some way by Bud’s metamorphosis. Even Turner, who should have felt some degree of vindication, had stopped by with gifts for the kids. Always a caring man, he’d even offered up a word of encouragement for her: "The measure of a man is hard to judge, Lieutenant. One moment he can be strong and stoic, accepting that the world around him isn’t perfect. In the next, the very insignificance of it all can overpower him. He can become lost for a while, but he can find himself as well. Bud may yet find himself, Lieutenant." He’d sounded like he was speaking from personal experience.
"You feeling any pain?" Clay softly inquired.
"Mmmm, no. Not yet. Maybe if neither of us moves, I never will."
"Sounds good to me," he readily agreed.
Moments later, he seemed to realize that his arm was pressing on her wound. Easing his arm slightly above her waist, he was unprepared for Harriet’s insistence that he leave it. Twining her fingers with his, she held his arm to her. "Don’t, Clay. It’s fine," she assured him.
"Harriet?" She could hear the guilt in his voice, but decided to ignore it.
"You didn’t wake me up last night, Clay. You really should have, you know. There’s no way this couch could this have been comfortable for you. Oh, dear! I’ll bet your arm is asleep, too." He noticed, however, that the contrite young woman made no effort to move off of that arm.
He puffed a laugh that awakened dormant feelings throughout her body. "Couldn’t. You were out like a light. AJ was going to help carry you upstairs but, ah, let’s just say it was safer to stay on the couch." His laugh was contagious, but that last remark intrigued her.
"Safer for who?"
"Me! You had a death grip on me that I couldn’t pry loose. Lady, for someone as tiny as you are, you have remarkable upper body strength."
She knew he was teasing her, but that felt good, too. "Comes from lifting AJ and carrying around Jimmy."
Her eyes had adjusted to the light and she could see the Christmas stockings adorning the mantel. One was embroidered with "AJ" and the other with "Jimmy." She’d hung them with a great amount of fanfare last night. Lifting her head, she peered over the sofa, but quickly settled back into his light embrace. The stitches gave a slight tug of discomfort.
"I see that Santa came without my help," she sighed. "I can’t believe that you and Harm braved the crowds yesterday."
"It was worth it to see the utter terror on Rabb’s face. I will always remember that look with fondness." He pulled her closer. "Next year we’ll shop during July, though." He gulped and she could feel the heat from his blush. "You will, I mean. Shop early. To avoid the crowds. The availability of the popular toys will be better then, too. Depending on that the boys want, of course…"
She started to sit up and he immediately released her. Turning so that her hip rested against his stomach she peered down into his face. He was obviously embarrassed by his presumption.
Slowly, she brought her hand up to cup his cheek. "I think that’s an excellent idea, Clay. I truly hope that when this mess is cleared up, you’ll still want to take me shopping in July."
A slight smile replaced his embarrassment. Then, in a move so tender and eloquent, he turned his head so that his lips reverently brushed the palm of her hand. The light touch went straight to her stomach. Without thinking, she pulled his lips to her own, initiating a kiss of sweet proportions. Their lips moved together and he brought his hand up to hold her head. Twisting slightly, his other arm wrapped around her. It was a gentle declaration, not demanding at all.
"Mommy! Mommy! Where are you? Jimmy wants to get up and see what Santa brought him. Mommy!"
They laughed out of the kiss. "Kid’s got remarkable timing," Clay announced as he pulled Harriet to her feet.
She pushed the hair out of her face and stretched the kinks out of her back. "I’ll be right there, AJ."
"I should go," Clay offered.
"No. Please stay…unless your mother will worry."
"Harriet, Mother doesn’t worry unless I leave the country."
"Then stay."
Clay wandered into the kitchen while Harriet went upstairs to dress the boys. Just as she settled on the sofa with Jimmy, he brought in two steaming mugs of coffee. Looking over towards the tree, they both grinned had to grin. AJ was bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet staring at the gifts ‘Santa’ had delivered the previous night.
"Uncle Clay, Uncle Clay!" he shouted excitedly. "I’ll help Jimmy open his, okay?"
Clay stared at Harriet in shock. "Did you tell him to call me that?" he whispered.
"No. He did it on his own. You’ve joined the honorary ranks of Uncle Harm and Aunt Sarah. You don’t mind, do you?" She knew that he was deeply moved, but she had to ask
"Tell you what Master AJ. I’ll lift you up on my lap next to your Mommy and Jimmy.," Clay sat down beside of Harriet and settled his coffee mug on a coaster, "That way your baby brother can see what he’s gotten. Sound like a plan to you?"
AJ readily climbed onto his lap, giggling delightedly. "Mommy! Uncle Clay called me Master AJ."
"Well, I can’t call you Little AJ anymore, can I? You’re a big boy now."
"That’s right! I’m a big boy!"
With that said, AJ had a grand time tearing open presents and throwing wrapping paper all over the den. It was a quick process that had both adults ruefully laughing at how carefully they’d prepared each gift. Promising to watch the boys, Clay helped AJ make breakfast while Harriet showered and dressed.
She was in the middle of feeding Jimmy when Clay shyly asked, "Would you like to go to Mother’s this afternoon? I think she has some gifts for you and the boys."
"Oh?" She was truly surprised. She’d talked with Porter Webb a few times, usually after AJ’s riding lessons on Sunday afternoons.
"Mommy, please?" AJ cried. "I have to say Merry Christmas to Thunder and Domino."
"Well, I suppose even horses have to experience Christmas. Let’s see…we’ll need to get some apples and carrots out of the fridge."
"Can I wrap ‘em?"
"Honey, I don’t think that’s such a good idea. The horses might get sick if they ate the paper."
Claiming it was his turn for a shower and a change of clothes, Clay promised to return for them at one. He seemed happy and relaxed, whistling as he slid into his car. Harriet grew nervous as she cleaned up the breakfast dishes and picked up after AJ. The morning had started off so well that she was hesitant to make any assumptions.
Clay was as good as his word. He returned promptly at one, full of smiles and good cheer as he hefted up AJ in greeting. It was a good act, but she could tell something had changed.
She waited until he’d strapped the boys into their car seats and helped her into the van before she confronted him. Placing her hand over his, she prevented him from closing her door. "Clay?"
A sad smile turned up the corners of his mouth. "Later, okay?"
"It’s not Bud, is it? He hasn’t done anything else, has he?"
"No. It’s not Bud." Giving her a reassuring squeeze, he glanced in at the boys and carefully removed her hand from his own. Shutting her door, he simply said, "Follow me out there."
They were just pulling into the long drive of the Webb estate when she finally worked it out. A sick feeling was beginning to develop in her stomach, when she brought the van to a halt.. However, by the time he helped her out and freed the boys, her face was a blank mask. AJ was already talking excitedly to Porter who was waiting for them at the door
Porter’s gift to her was extravagant: two months of daycare for the boys. "I really had no idea what else to get you, dear. I hope you’re not offended."
Harriet thanked her, but she was becoming progressively more anxious as the afternoon wore on. Clay divided his time between holding Jimmy and helping an excited AJ explore the erector set Porter had given him. She suspected that Clay was making certain that they were never alone so that she wouldn’t question him about her fears.
Finally, Clay stood. "Come on AJ, let’s go give the horses their treats."
She walked to the window to watch their progress out through the snow.
"How are you holding up, dear?" Porter asked.
"I have good days and bad days. Obviously, having good friends makes it easier, Clay has become such a good friend."
"That’s nice to hear, Harriet. Clayton doesn’t have many friends. It’s a relief that he’s found people, besides me, to care about." Harriet was glad that Porter didn’t question her more closely about any deeper feelings that Clay might have towards her.
When they returned from the stables, Clay looked slightly less stressed. AJ ran up to her and said, "Mommy, Uncle Clay had a long man-to-man talk with me."
She raised one brow at Clay while answering her son, "He did?" Clay gulped and she thought he was going to try and interrupt the little boy.
AJ, however continued his grave explanation, "Uh-huh. You know how Daddy and Uncle Harm and Aunt Sarah sometimes have to leave to do their jobs?"
Out of the corner of her eye, Harriet saw Porter put her fingers to her lips. She then focused on the man who had voluntarily stepped in, filling the huge gap that Bud had left in her son’s life. "Yes, I know."
"Well, Uncle Clay has to go away for a couple of weeks. He says you’re not to worry ‘cause Uncle Harm and the Am’rl will look out for us. Besides, I’m bigger now. I can help you and roll a model for Jimmy at the same time. I got lots I can teach Jimmy, don’t I Mommy?"
All she could do was nod.
"AJ," Porter said, "Would you come and show me how to change Jimmy? It’s been a very long time since I’ve done that."
"Okay, Nana!" AJ readily agreed.
"Oh my," Porter looked shocked at AJ’s new name for her. But a smile kissed her lips as he accepted her hand. "Perhaps I shall read Peter Pan to you while we’re up there."
"Peter Pan!" he shouted excitedly, following the stately matron up the steps.
"Sorry about that," Clay said from window. "I meant to tell you first. He’s a smart boy, Harriet. While we were feeding the horses he asked me why I was so sad and I couldn’t lie to him."
Clay shook his head ruefully, "Isn’t that a laugh? The Tin Man can’t lie to a five year old."
"So, it’s for a couple of weeks?" She thought for a moment then continued, "In all these months I don’t think you’ve had to leave for such a long time as that."
"Well, after the last time, right before Sarah and I decided to break it off, I was gone for nearly three months. It was a difficult transition, coming in from the field and edging back into a supervisory role I’d had before Paraguay. For more times than I’d like to admit, whenever I felt that I should be out there in the field, I went. I have good people out there, though. The best, in fact. They’re counting on me to do my job now, and this is a part of it." He took a deep breath and when she didn’t say anything further, he turned and faced her. "Harriet, this is who I am and what I’m good at. I won’t apologize for it."
"I didn’t ask you to, Clay." She walked over to where he stood. "AJ was right. He’s used to Bud not being here. I think that’s one of the reasons he’s dealing with it so well this time."
"You know I’ll call."
"Not if it will put you in danger. It’s more important for you to come home – in one piece." She placed her hand on his chest and looked into his eyes. "When do you leave?"
He pressed her hand over his heart, "Tonight."
"Oh," she swallowed, willing the tears not to fall.
"Maybe it’s for the best," he said gravely. "You probably need a breather from all my help."
"Probably," she agreed.
"Harriet…" he began, then stopped.
"What?"
"I know you need time."
"Yes, I guess I do."
"I want you to know that, no matter what you decide about Bud, I’ll always be here for you. The boys, too."
"Oh Clay, I know that."
His kiss began as a soft farewell, but Harriet threw her arms around his neck, opening her lips to him and demanding more. His tongue gracefully tracked across her own before he reluctantly pulled back. Sighing deeply, he reminded her, "I have to go soon."
"Come back safe."
He left after hugging his mother and solemnly shaking AJ hand. As his hand lingered over Jimmy’s dark hair she momentarily saw the longing for children of his own.
Porter watched closely as Harriet dressed the boys in their outer gear for the trip home. "I want you to know that, during my son’s absence, you may call upon me at any time."
Harriet smiled. "Funny. Now that you mention it, I’ve never had to call Clay. He just seems to know when I need him. Thank you, Porter. It’s good to know that I can count on you."
She found herself nearly overwhelmed with taking care of the boys and working at JAG. She’d never realized how Clay’s unrelenting friendship had become more of a partnership when it came to taking care of the boys. She felt lonely without Clay hovering in the background, ready to share a knowing smile or an intimate look.
This week Turner was TDY leaving Mac and Harm to man most of the major cases. Since the Admiral was still vetting candidates to replace Bud, everyone had to juggle extended caseloads.
Compounding matters, Petty Officer Coates had returned from her leave a week late. Everyone had stopped to stare as the young yeoman breezed through the bullpen, acting as though she had not a care in the world. Smiling at everyone she passed, Coates bypassed her own desk and knocked firmly on the Admiral’s door.
"Enter!"
For nearly two hours, everyone strained to hear anything coming from the Admiral’s office. The muted sound of ringing telephones and hushed responses were a testament to their curiosity. The last time they had been this quiet, the Admiral had been chewing out Coates’ predecessor. It had been a sad day when Jason Tiner’s stint at JAG had ended; everyone had liked Tiner. Now, realizing that ninety minutes had come and gone without a peep from Chegwidden’s office, curiosity was turning to sympathy.
Mac approached Harriet’s desk on her way to lunch. "Good God," she whispered, "I feel so sorry for her." When all she got was a hard look from Harriet, Mac sighed. "Almost," she amended, "I almost feel sorry for her."
When the Admiral’s door finally opened, Harriet found herself reluctantly agreeing with Mac. Coates had obviously been crying. The mascara running down her cheeks had left dark smudges around her eyes. Her face, paler than usual, reminded Harriet of a dead body she’d once seen. Bitterness enveloped the young woman, drawing her lips into a tight line. No one, not even Harm, approached Coates as she quickly cleaned out her desk.
"Colonel MacKenzie!" AJ seemed to release two hours of restrained anger in that one bellow.
Mac hurried into his office, closing the door behind her. Coates, a small box filled with her personal effects, paused at the elevator and looked back at the bullpen. Once the elevator arrived, she sighed deeply and departed, never uttering one word to those around her.
Harm mentally debated his options before extracting his cell phone. Punching in the number, he looked anxious as he waited. "Mattie? It’s Harm. No, everything’s fine. Look, I need you to do me a favor."
He listened for a moment, then interrupted whatever the young girl was telling him. "Yes, yes, we’ll talk about it later. Later, Mattie, I promise. Listen, can you take the train out to Harriet’s house?"
Mattie obviously had some comment to make about that, but Harm interrupted her once again. "Just do it, please. I’ll meet you there right at 1800 hours. Hey, I’ll even buy you dinner."
He listened for another long moment and sighed deeply. "No, Mattie, I think Jennifer has other plans."
When he signed off, Harriet thought he might just cry. "That was rough, but I feel like I need to tell her in person. I don’t even know what to tell her. I…I just can’t believe Jen could be so…irresponsible. What was she thinking?"
Mac exited the Admiral’s office a few moments later and hurried toward her own office. Harm started to say something but Mac warned him off with a terse, "Later."
That evening found Harm, Mac, and Harriet sitting around the kitchen table while Mattie and AJ devoured a pizza in the front of the television. Making certain that The Princess Bride drowned out their conversation, Harriet and Mac began to unpack their take-out.
Between bites of dim sum and rice noodles, Harm started, "Well, what did he say to her?"
"I swear Harm, he didn’t offer and I sure as hell wasn’t going to ask him. I haven’t seen him that angry since he broke up with Meredith."
"You must be losing your touch, Mac." Harm rose from the table, checked the living room, and grabbed another beer from the refrigerator. "He always tells you stuff he wouldn’t dream of telling anyone else."
"Well, Flyboy, all he told me was to process the paperwork."
"Separation?" Harm gasped. "The Navy’s all she has."
"No, the Admiral doesn’t have grounds for separation. She wasn’t UA, and there’s no proof that she and Bud…." Mac quickly broke off, glancing at Harriet and then at the kitchen door. "He transferred her to Nellis."
Harriet paled but Harm looked confused. "Nellis? The Air Force base in…? Holy shit! Why would he transfer her to Nevada? I know they have a small Navy contingent there, but…that’s aiding and abetting, don’t you think?"
"I don’t know, Harm. He didn’t seem all that happy about it. Maybe she backed him into a corner. It makes absolutely no sense."
"Hell, if I didn’t know better – and I do – I’d swear this had Webb written all over it."
"No it doesn’t." Harriet stood up and began clearing away their dishes. She would eat leftover noodles for the next week. None of them had done more than pick at the food Harm had brought. "I once thought that Clay was responsible for getting Bud into trouble. But this? Bud needs someone and if Jennifer Coates is willing to deal with all his baggage, then I won’t stand in her way. I’m really glad the Admiral did what he did."
"Harriet!" Harm was truly shocked. "Don’t you want Bud back? Think about the boys!"
"I am thinking about the boys. I know what happened out there." Mac and Harm exchanged stunned looks. "Just before you arrived, Agent Wilkins, Clay’s friend with the FBI, called me. It seems that Sam Venuso was a major player in that game where Bud won all that money in Atlantic City. From what Agent Wilkins could find out, Bud’s been playing it straight. He just has a feel for poker, or maybe he really does have a system. I don’t know and neither did Wilkins. Venuso didn’t like being played for a fool by an unknown. He set Bud up, fed him some kind of drug and made sure that his loan sharks were available."
Harriet paused and looked out at the two kids watching television. Mattie was on her stomach, and AJ was sitting on her back. Both seemed enthralled by the movie.
She turned back to her friends with a sad smile. "That said, what difference does it make? Even if he’s not technically insane, this isn’t the Bud I fell in love with. He wasn’t drugged when he went to Atlantic City; he was sober as a judge when he stopped by on Thanksgiving night to tell me he was going to Vegas. He even asked me to go with him."
All of this, including the fact that Bud had stopped by after they’d all left on Thanksgiving, was news to Mac and Harm. Harm managed to look hurt, but Mac nodded, understanding why Harriet had kept that painful encounter to herself.
Harriet smiled gratefully. "I didn’t want to give up everything I held dear to follow him to Las Vegas. I can’t put my life on hold waiting for him to snap out of it. I certainly can’t put the boys’ lives in danger. What happens the next time he pisses off a crazy thug?"
Tears tracked down her face as she realized that the man she had once loved was gone forever. "I need to move on. That part of my life is over now." With that she went to the sink, determinedly washing up the remaining dishes.
Harm and Mac looked at each other, afraid to say anything else to Harriet. Mac leaned in and softly asked, "Do you want Mattie to stay with me until Coates moves out?"
Harriet could see the blush of indecision on Harm’s face. "Yeah. I don’t know what to do about that situation. I do owe her, Mac. She’s been so great about Mattie and the living arrangements. Who knew she’d go off the deep end like this? What am I going to do?"
"We’ll work it out, Flyboy," Mac promised, leaning in to kiss him softly on the lips. She turned her attention to Harriet. "What are you going to do?"
"Kick you out, give AJ his bath and go to bed, I guess." She swiped the tears from her face with both hands.
After they left, Harriet followed through on all the things she’d listed; she even managed to get in a little sleep. The following morning, after dropping both boys off at daycare, she made a brief phone call. "Porter, you said I could call if I needed anything. I need to talk to you, but I have to go into work."
"Of course, dear. Why don’t we do lunch?"
The divorce lawyer Porter recommended was expensive, but one of the best. By the time Clay returned, the legal wheels were in motion.
Harvard Medical School
June 6, 2024
The bus pulled up in front of Gordon Hall, ready to drop off its load of passengers. Clay and James moved out of the way allowing the others a chance to exit the crowded bus. Harriet started to rise but Clay gently kept her in place. Crouching down until he was at eye level with her, he waited, searching for something to say.
She lovingly traced the firm line of his jaw. "I’m fine. Really." She glanced up at her son and saw a combination of concern and resigned determination etched on his face.
"It’s okay, Mom. I know he’s here."
Her pain was reflected on Clay’s face. In nineteen years of marriage, he’d never once spoke harshly about Bud in front of the boys. In fact, he was the one who’d told them about Bud opening up a small law firm in Las Vegas. Today, that firm was one of the biggest in the city. Although he still gambled, Bud had created a stable home for Jennifer and himself.
It had been Clay who had taken the boys out there for that one visit. It had been Clay who’d kept James company most of the time they were out there. Bud and his youngest son had never connected the way she’d hoped. From what little AJ would tell her, Bud really didn’t know how to interact with either of his sons.
No, Clayton Webb had been the father those boys had needed and wanted over the years. Still, she did wonder what Bud had said to his oldest son. She just hoped he hadn’t made a scene.
:: :: :: ::
Washoe County Courthouse.
Reno, Nevada
March, 2005
She sat there, staring straight ahead. She knew she would probably cry once it was over. On the other side of the aisle, Bud sat shuffling the papers before him. He’d taken and passed the Nevada bar exam for the sole purpose of handling his own divorce. Martin Carter could eat him alive, but not if Carter followed Harriet’s wishes in the matter.
Mac sat next to her, more for moral support than as a true second chair, though that was how Carter presented her to the judge handing the case.
Mac squeezed her hand. "Hang in there, Harriet."
‘Take control of your own life,’ Dr. Williams had insisted.
‘Whatever you want, Harriet,’ Clay had assured her, before leaving in February. They’d both agreed the separation would allow her to get her head on straight about everything. She missed him. He made a concerted effort to call AJ at least once a week. He’d also arranged for Harm or Mac to drive AJ out to the Webb estate for an occasional Sunday ride. He was so much a part of the boys’ lives that when Jimmy craned his head, looking for something or someone, it was probably Clay.
She wasn’t sure why she’d sent him away. It wasn’t like they’d done anything immoral. Carter had warned her that even in this day and age, it would be best if she present a picture of domestic solidarity, but that hadn’t worried her. His advice about the kids being "your only concern until the divorce" had only irritated her.
"The children ARE and will ALWAYS BE my concern," she’d assured him. What she’d neglected to tell him was that without Clay, the knot of loneliness would grow larger and harder to bear.
Carter hadn’t prevaricated: "For God’s sake, don’t get caught. From what I hear, your husband, no matter his mental state, isn’t a pushover. I don’t know whether your relationship with Mr. Webb will play a role in the case or not. I just advise not making it an issue."
Bud had called her a dozen times, all with the same message. "I’m doing great. I’ve got money in the bank!" From what Carter had determined, Bud was actually defying the odds and making a living by playing high stakes poker in Sin City. Unfortunately, he and Jennifer Coates seemed to have no compunction about morality. According to her sources, whenever Jenny could get leave from Nellis, they were living together.
The Admiral had eventually called her into his office and explained why he’d practically given his blessing to Coates’ continual involvement with Bud. "Harriet, I don’t approve, but she and Bud could have made things very embarrassing for you. Dragging it out, painting you in a bad light, true or false. She said all she wanted was to be there to support Bud. She claimed he had no one who understood him. Coates always had a deep need to meddle. Let her meddle in what’s left of Bud’s life."
"I’ll use that to get you custody of the kids," Carter had promised. "You’ll get full control over visitation rights."
Harriet had stood firm with Carter about going for blood unless it was absolutely necessary. Bud hadn’t seemed particularly interested in custody or visitation rights. She also doubted that Jenny would want to be saddled with a six year old and a baby not yet one. That was fine with her.
"All rise," called out the bailiff.
The preliminaries were quickly accomplished; the judge had the dissolution agreement before him. He studied Harriet carefully. "You’re not asking for much here, Mrs. Roberts. Are you sure you want to waive child support?"
Carter cleared his throat. "Your honor; even considering the current codes, intra-state child support agreements are, at best, difficult. Mr. Roberts presently has enough money in his accounts to pay off the mortgage of the home in Virginia. Considering Mr. Roberts’ primary profession, it is unclear if those funds will be available on a constant basis."
"You’re agreeing to sign away your survivor rights to Mr. Roberts’ Navy pension?"
"Mrs. Roberts does so without prejudice for the children’s rights, your honor."
"And Mrs. Roberts is amenable to the visitation provisions?"
"Mrs. Roberts had agreed to allow her husband unsupervised visitation in Virginia for the first five years after the divorce. Thereafter, contingent on the emotional well-being of both children, Mr. Roberts can host visitation in Nevada or in a neutral area agreed upon by both parents. Neither child is to visit any casino property - any property, no matter what the theme of the venue. Doing so will negate the parental rights and privleges of the father."
"Mr. Roberts?"
She made herself look at Bud. He resembled the mobster who’d tried to kill her. An obvious paunch hung over his belt and his shirt could only be described as shiny. A pair of gilded cards dangled from the gold chain fastened around his neck. Jenny, who was sitting behind him, wore jeans and a demur shirt. She looked like she was going to burst into tears at any moment.
"Your honor, I’ve studied the decree and, contingent on one slight matter, have no objections."
"Your honor!" Carter surged to his feet. "This is highly unusual."
"What is this ‘slight matter’ you refer to, Mr. Roberts?" the judge asked.
"To speak to my wife, alone, before we sign the final papers," Bud stated soberly, his hound dog expression exuding nothing more than sincere regret.
"I object!" Carter protested.
Harriet reached up, halting the protective barrister. "No, it’s all right. I’ll do it. As long as we get out of here tonight, I’ll let him have his last chat."
"Very well," the Judge sighed. "Bailiff? Do we have a room available?"
At the bailiff’s nod, the judge gestured for Bud and Harriet exit the court. "You have fifteen minutes, then. Court is in recess!"
Sun streamed in through the window, sending a shaft of light across the floor where Bud paced back and forth. "Harriet, are you sure this is what you want?"
"Want, Bud? Want? No. Actually, I’d like to wake up and find that this was all a terrible nightmare. That’s what I want!" Even as she said it, Harriet knew there was more bitterness than truth in her claim.
"I can’t do that, Harriet. I tried so hard to pretend that everything was happy and wonderful. It just wasn’t working. I was getting to the point where everything I did was wrong." His look of momentary sadness was replaced by the fevered enthusiasm she always associated with his gambling. "My system is damned near perfect. The greatest thing is, nobody can figure it out."
"Bud! I do not want to hear this. You threw us away for a system?"
"I asked you to come with me." He paused to look at her. She could see nothing of the man she had married in his face. The calculating look he constantly wore made her feel used in some way. She didn’t trust this man.
"Make me understand," she whispered sorrowfully. "I didn’t even think you liked card games."
"I didn’t at first. Sitting there day after day, recuperating, I’d sometimes get tired of the Star Trek simulations and X-box games. I started accessing the interactive casino games, but I can’t say that’s what did it either."
Bud thought for a minute and finally admitted, "I think it goes all the way back to those card games on the Seahawk. I was good, and it surprised me. The men were in AWE of me. Several even thought I was cheating, but they could never prove it. Even they had to admit that I won fair and square," he proudly stated. It made Harriet want to throw up, but she really did want to know what had happened.
"You were a good lawyer, Bud."
"The Navy didn’t think so. You knew how much money we owed, how hard it was. I hated seeing that look on your face every time we had to dip into the money your folks gave us as a wedding gift. When it was gone and I still hadn’t made the promotions list, I got fed up. Thought I’d see what else I was good at. Well, guess what? I was good at cards, Harriet. Outstanding, in fact. I’ve made more money working my system in Vegas than I ever could ever have hoped to make in the Navy. Think about it before you sign those papers, Sweetie. I can still make a good life for us out here. Ask Jenny if you don’t believe me!"
She paled and he blushed. Taking a deep breath, Harriet shook her head. "I’m glad you have Jenny, Bud. You need someone, you really do. But I can’t do this. I won’t do this to myself or to the boys."
"You don’t understand."
"No, I don’t. I don’t think I ever will. That’s why we’re here."
"I love you."
"What about Jenny?" she reminded him.
He looked ashamed but puffed out his chest with exaggerated pride. "She’s good to me. We have fun together. She sits there and watches me play and afterward we have a good time. It could be you, Harriet. I wanted it to be you. Jenny would understand."
"And the boys?"
"AJ’s old enough to be left with a sitter. You leave him in daycare now, don’t you?"
"Oh, Bud," she sighed and then asked, "Do you have anything else you want to say to me?"
"I’m better than my old man! I’m not him. You accused me of being him, but I’m not."
"Okay. You’re not him."
"Damn you, Harriet!"
She just shook her head and walked to the door. Turning, she looked at him for a long moment, releasing him – and herself. "Bud, I know it’s a cliché but, I don’t know who you are anymore. I have two sons to raise. Take the deal as it’s written or so help me God, I will allow Martin Carter to take you for every red cent you have or will ever have. Now, do YOU understand?"
Bud slowly nodded, surprised by Harriet’s vehemence. Minutes later, she walked out of the Washoe County courthouse as Harriet Sims, single mother of two. Taking a deep breath, she looked over at Mac with a firm resolve, "I need to get home to the boys."
"Next flight out is tomorrow. Don’t worry, we’re on it," Mac grinned. "By the way, I’ve got us rooms at one of the few hotels that doesn’t have a casino attached."
"Fine," she said numbly. She stared up at the mountains in the distance, shading her eyes. It seemed like a metaphor to the way she felt. She had a long mountain to climb, but realized she didn’t want to climb it alone. She understood that, because of her friends, there would always be strong male figures in her sons’ lives. Harm and the Admiral had always been there for them.
Then there was Clay, her personal wild card. She wasn’t quite certain how he felt about her, but she was more than a little in love with him. Or maybe it was lust; she couldn’t tell anymore. Chaste kisses were fine, but she wanted more. The few kisses they had shared had stirred deeply passionate feelings in her. Would he want to explore anything further? He certainly hadn’t tried to take it further. Was she just imagining the sexual tension whenever they found themselves alone together? The frustration was driving her crazy. She’d found that doing for herself sexually was getting damned old these days.
Walking along the busy sidewalk with Mac, the memory of Christmas morning struck her like a slap in the face. She’d slept with her bottom nestled against his crotch. It had been morning. She’d wiggled back into his warmth and---had he been hard? Didn’t most men wake up with a hard-on in the morning? Particularly when they were holding a woman so close?
Mac nudged her. "Harriet, here’s a cab."
After Mac had given the driver their address, they rode silently, letting the garish hotels flash past.
Gathering a few threads of courage, Harriet’s curiosity was getting the best of her. "Mac?"
"Yes?"
"Can I ask you a question? A really, really personal question?"
"Sure, I guess so," she hesitantly replied.
"Uhm…can you…would you mind telling me…I mean, back last year, when you and Clay were uhm, dating…did you…you know?"
"No, I don’t know." The confusion was evident on Mac’s face. "What are you asking me? We broke up. We haven’t sought each other out socially or otherwise. If it weren’t for you and Harm, we’d probably never see each other. We’re still friends, though, Harriet. Just friends."
"But when you were…you know…more than friends?"
Mac cocked her eyebrow and snorted. "When we were lovers, you mean?" Harriet nodded without looking up at her friend.
"What about it?"
"Did you actually….I mean, could he…?"
"Harriet! Spit it out already. Wait a minute…you and he?" Harriet violently shook her head, blushing to the roots of her blonde head.
Mac laughed at Harriet’s intense reaction. "Well good. I didn’t think he would have."
"Why!?" Harriet demanded angrily. "You don’t think I can inspire a man’s baser instincts?"
Mac sighed and stared at her for a long time. "Harriet, consider the man we’re talking about here. You were married. You were vulnerable. No matter what problems I had with Clay, and there were lots of of them, he was always as honorable as the situation would allow. Clayton Webb seducing you under those circumstances is inconceivable. Dear God, he treated you like you were the Virgin Mary."
"But I’m not," Harriet hissed. "He never once touched me other than to kiss me on Christmas morning. Even then, I kissed him first. He never once tried to take it further."
"Did you want him to?"
"Gee no, Mac," she snapped sarcastically. "Why would I want that to happen? After all, I’m just a boring old mother of two. Better yet, I was saddled with a husband who preferred soliciting hookers to me and, oh, by the way, gambled his way to Las Vegas. Why in the world would someone like me want any kind of…"
"Harriet! When?" Harriet had never told Harm or Mac about that the night everything had started to spiral out of control. Evidently, neither had Clay.
"Oh, please! That’s how this whole thing began. That’s how Clay got involved. Bud called him when he got arrested for picking up a prostitute. Didn’t you ever wonder?"
Mac shook her head. "I thought it started at the bank that day when you fainted. He never elaborated – at least not to me, and I think that Harm would have clued me in if Clay had told him about it."
"No, Clay’s an honorable man." Harriet sighed. "You really think that’s the reason why he never made a pass…because I was married."
"Well, there is that. Plus, tell me this: exactly when and where was he going to make this pass, Harriet? At your house? In front of the boys? What did you want? A nooner?" Mac sighed and sat back to look out her window.
"What? A nooner? Who said anything about a nooner?"
"It’s nothing, Harriet. Just forget it."
"Oh, no you don’t!. I just bared my lust for your former lover. I want to know what you meant by that sigh. Now, damn it!"
"His nooners were memorable," Mac muttered.
"What?"
"You heard me," Mac said. Harriet thought for sure that Mac would ignore her for the rest of the trip, but she softly continued. "It was so hard when we got back. There was so much to get past, especially with his recovery schedule. I felt so guilty. But our boy is a determined spook. He made it back, almost a hundred percent."
"He said the reason why you broke it off was because you hated his job and wanted kids."
"Yeah, I guess those are as good as any other reasons. I did and do hate his job. You have to understand; he disappeared for weeks, sometimes months, without ever letting me know. When we got the final doctor’s report, it was already too late. We were fighting about so many things. That report was just the most convenient reason we could use. It also has the benefit of being true: I do want kids, Harriet."
"I know. I’m sorry I dredged it all up again. I was just afraid that when he said he couldn’t have kids, he meant he couldn’t have ...sex."
Mac’s body shook and for a moment Harriet wasn’t sure it was from sorrow or laughter. "Honey, the man can definitely have sex. Is that what you want? Just sex?"
"Right now? Yeah! I think I’m entitled." She could feel her face heating up, but she met Mac’s shocked expression with a bold one of her own.
"Later on, once I’ve had a few of those nooners….," she began, then hung her head. "Who am I kidding? I’m already in love with him. At first I thought it was because he was so good with AJ and Jimmy. But, damn it, I’ve missed just talking with him. He would sit for hours at the kitchen table or next to me on the couch and just talk."
"Have you told him that?" Mac asked.
"Of course not! It’s too soon. Come on, wouldn’t you suspicious of my motives? What single mother with a crazy ex-husband wouldn’t want a man with his money and…"
"Harriet! Stop it. You think Clay would think that about you? Damn, I don’t know what to tell you. You’re right; it’s too soon. So what? Talk to him." Mac sighed and looked out the window again. "Don’t wait as long as I did."
They pulled up in front of the hotel and climbed out. Walking out of the bright sunlight and into the dark coolness of the lobby left them slightly blinded. They were almost to the elevators when they heard a familiar voice crack, "You know, we fly all the way out here to lend moral support, and they walk right by us."
Mac spun around. "Harm? Clay!"
By this time, Harriet’s eyes had adjusted and she could clearly see the sheepish look on Clay’s face. "Hi," she said softly.
He stood there, his hands in the pockets of his casual Dockers. "So? Did everything go okay?"
Harriet shrugged. "Not as bad as we expected."
"Was Jen there?" Harm asked. "Did she look okay?" Mac gave him an appraising look, but said nothing. Harm blushed. "Mattie asked about her."
"I’m sure she did, Flyboy." Mac shook her head. "You want to track them down? Make sure she doesn’t need rescuing?" There was no jealousy in her voice, just resigned acceptance that Harm somehow felt responsible for his friends’ happiness.
"Aw, Mac." He blushed and shook his head.
Clay rolled his eyes at the two bickering lovers. "So, ladies, can two out-of-towners buy you a nice dinner? I’ve never been to Reno, but I’m sure there must be some place we can eat."
Harm gratefully accepted the change in subject. "Good lord, a place Clayton Webb hasn’t been."
"Somehow, missing out on any place in Nevada just isn’t that upsetting," Clay said, never taking his eyes off of Harriet.
She smiled, but before she could say anything, Harm continued, "I’ll ask the desk clerk if there are any vegetarian places."
Clay must have read something in her eyes because his smile widened to a familiar grin. "You know, I really would prefer a steak."
"Yeah, me too," she hastily agreed.
From the look on Mac’s face, she preferred steak as well, but she took Harm’s arm and led him out the door, "Come on, Flyboy. I just might be able to work up a taste for egg plant."
Harm looked over his shoulder, "How about you two? Aren’t you going to give it a try, Harriet?"
Mac tugged on his arm again. "She’s a big girl, Harm. Come on and leave them alone"
"Huh?" Harm stumbled as he tried to keep up with her, but he managed to follow her lead. Quite suddenly, Clay and Harriet were left standing alone in the hotel lobby.
They stood facing each other, too far away to touch, and just close enough to see the fear in each other’s eyes. "It really was sweet of you to come all the way out here, Clay."
He shrugged, "Harm wasn’t flying, so it seemed safe enough. You doing okay?"
"Yeah."
"You’re sure?"
She took a deep breath. "I’m taking it one day at a time." Her shoulders rose and fell. "He’s completely convinced that he made the right choice. Who am I to say that he didn’t - for him at least? Clay, he refused to even consider what he’s leaving behind. I don’t think he even cares whether or not the boys are in his life."
"It’s his loss, Harriet. Which reminds me," Clay cupped her shoulder and guided her out of the center of the lobby, "I stopped by the house to see the boys. I didn’t realize that Jimmy was trying to walk. He seemed really happy to see me, which kind of surprised me. I didn’t think kids remembered…." His voice trailed off and he looked away, obviously embarrassed. The hurt she heard in his voice tugged at her heart.
He was in better control when he continued, "I think your mom is going nuts chasing after him. AJ asked me to tell you that everything is fine. He’s doing a great job looking after everyone, especially his little brother."
She closed her eyes in pain. "He’s too little for that kind of responsibility, real or imagined." She opened her eyes at his touch. "I’m really sorry that I sent you away. I know how much seeing Jimmy meant to you."
"Seeing Jimmy’s mom meant something to me too, Harriet." He moved a little closer. "I told AJ that his grandparents were perfectly capable of handling anything that might happen. I also reminded him that Admiral AJ was just a phone call away. He seemed relieved to hear that AJ was going to stop by after work tonight."
She nodded and looked into his eyes. "I’m really glad that you came out here with Harm."
He nodded and scanned the lobby, avoiding her eyes.
"Clay?" she finally asked. "You said you missed me. And I….well, you’re bound to know how glad I am to see you. It’s just….what do you want from me?"
It was his turn to close his eyes, but when he opened them again, she could see the stubborn resolve glittering there. "I want whatever you’re willing to share. And," he took a steadying breath, "it’s not just AJ’s and Jimmy’s mom I want." Not realizing he was mimicking Harriet’s major worry, he assured her, "I know it’s too soon."
She put her fingers against his lips. "It’s okay. I…I feel the same way."
"So? You want to try and find that steak dinner?"
"I’m not really that hungry, unless you are."
"No, I’m fine."
"Then why don’t we go upstairs, Clay? We need to talk…about a lot of things."
"I…Rabb and I have separate rooms. I’m guessing Mac reserved separate rooms as well."
"Probably. Look, I want to change first. That okay with you?"
"Sure," he readily agreed, then waited while she went to the desk.
They were quiet on the elevator ride. She could tell he was nervous, perhaps as nervous as she. He made no move to help her with the key card, standing just behind her, allowing her to usher him inside – or change her mind and send him away.
"Oh, it’s nicer than I expected," she said upon entering the room. She walked across to the window and admired the view. The room was on the top floor of the twelve-story building and she could see the lake in the distance. Harriet stood there hoping that Clay would make some kind of move: follow her, touch her….anything. She was disappointed to turn around and find him still standing by the dresser.
"I really appreciate what you said downstairs," she confided, trying to cover a growing sense of urgency. "I think I was worried that you were doing everything out of a need to protect the boys."
"Well, like I said, there is that. In any case…"
She didn’t let him finish, "’Cause I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you."
His eyes widened in surprise. "Even after being away for so long?"
"Especially after being away….for so long. I missed you, damn you. I missed just sitting by the fire and talking over my day with you. I want to sit by the fire and talk about your day too, you know."
He shook his head sadly. "I can’t promise there’ll be a lot of that, Harriet. Even if…" He shook his head, the embarrassed blush reaching far below the open collar of his knit golf shirt. "Even if you marry me…," he tried to continue.
"Oh, my! Have you really been thinking along those lines?" She wasn’t sure she wanted to rush into another marriage, but his hopeful look encouraged her own.
He met her gaze and nodded, "Yeah, I have."
He took a step towards her and stopped, compelled to explain. "No one wanted him to come back to you more than I did, besides you and the boys, that is. You were right Harriet, I do believe in happy endings. I just don’t see them very often. It’s ironic, but, as soon as became clear that Bud was determined to stay out here, I began to hope. I knew you would never do what Bud wanted you to – move out here – be part of this live style."
It was her turn to move closer. "You knew that, huh?"
He reached out to cup her cheek with his hand. "Oh, yeah. You’re a woman of great strength and determination. Must be all that…." Trailing off again, he pulled back his arm to rub at his face with both hands.
"Must be all that what?"
"I was going to say it must all that Navy training, but that didn’t help you with Bud, did it?" He shook his head and turned away. "He’s always going to be there, wedged between us, isn’t he?"
She gently pulled him around to face her. "He’s still the boys’ father and, for their sake, I hope he’ll always be there for them. After today’s meeting, I’m not real sure about that, but I’ve got to leave the door open." Harriet offered him a rueful smile before tenderly stroking his face.
"Clay, I need you to understand that there is no Bud coming between us. That’s the major difference between Bud and me. After our baby girl died, we both hurt so much; I don’t believe there is even a way to explain such grief to another person. It never goes away, but at least I had my faith to fall back on. I truly believe that my Sarah is in heaven. Somehow, I don’t think Bud believes that. He could never get past all the bad things that have happened over the past few years. Unfortunately, he doesn’t cherish all the good that’s occurred either."
Harriet cupped his face in both hands and firmly told him, "It’s over between Bud and me. If next month or even next year he comes to me and says, ‘I just woke up. I was a fool, take me back,’ I couldn’t." She pulled her hands away and gripped them in front of her. "He worked really hard to kill whatever love I had for him. I prayed daily for the strength to forgive him, and I do. That doesn’t mean I can forget what he did. Nor can I forget who he is. The best part of him still lives on in those boys and I will never regret that. Jimmy and AJ are the most important things in my life."
"Mine too," he whispered to himself.
"Okay. So what about me? You said you want to marry me. Why?" she demanded.
In answer, he took her into his arms and kissed her softly. "Let me be there for you," he said pulling back.
"For what?" She tried to read his soul, but all she saw was confusion. "Do you even see me as a sexual being? Am I a woman or just someone you can save? Trust me, I don’t need saving, Clay. I made a deal to raise the boys all by myself today. Knowing that you and the Admiral and Harm will be there as role models for them is great. It’s a relief, really. I couldn’t ask for better influences, but that’s for the boys. Right now, I want to know about me. Clay, how do you see me?"
He stepped away and considered her. She was thrilled and a little shocked when he raked his eyes over her body. She saw the hunger on his face. "You think you’re ready for a sexual relationship?"
"With the right man. With you," she assured him.
"Really?" Something inside him sought release. For nearly a year he’d treated her like the revered Virgin Mac and Bud had once described. Now, a sexy grin lit his face. An answering grin transformed her own face. His eyes boldly raked over her body again, as if planning his attack.
"Nice suit," he said. "Come here."
She shuddered at his words. He’d never talked to her like this. She found herself both thrilled and a little scared. Could she please him? Would he disappoint her? Harriet raised a hand up to the top button of her suit, but he shook his head. His finger beckoned her. "I’ll do that," he promised.
Another shudder sent chills down her back. She stood before him and waited. She held her breath as he lowered his lips to hers. Even this felt different than before, as if he was allowing a wellspring of emotion to escape confinement. Gently, his tongue floated across her lips, even after she opened her mouth to him. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her tight against him. She sighed in contentment as she felt the proof of his arousal. She tugged on his shirt, pulling it free from his slacks. His back was almost hot to the touch as she began to familiarize herself with this man who had become so important to her.
Stepping back, he forced her to release him. "May I undress you, Harriet?"
"Please," she whispered.
Concentrating on each small button, he became impatient. "Ten? Ten? You need ten of these things?"
"Earlier you said you liked it." she teased as he finally spread open the jacket.
He reverently pushed the jacket off her shoulders and sighed piteously, "A camisole?"
"Hey, think of it as my version of a three-piece suit." Her mind was focused solely on the sparks of pleasure his almost phantom touches were causing. He stepped closer to pull the delicate straps off her arms, stealing a kiss as he did so.
He gasped as she playfully rubbed her hands across his arousal. "Do you like this?" she whispered.
"Yes," he hissed, deepening the kiss. His hands found her zipper and tugged gently until the skirt pooled at her feet. He traced the outline of the camisole, circling her jutting nipples. "Would it shock you to know how much I want to take you shopping for lingerie? You’re very sexy, Harriet."
From any other man she might have been inclined to giggle at such remark, but she saw the sincerity in his eyes. "I am?"
He pulled the camisole over her head. Her bra, a simple Playtex with little adornment, soon followed. "Perfect," he sighed as he hefted her breasts in his hands. Brushing his thumbs across their hardened peaks, he confessed, "I can’t wait to kiss them."
Clay knelt before her, but before he could pull at her slip and panty hose, she pulled his shirt and tee shirt over his head, sending his neatly groomed hair into disarray. As he finished undressing, her she ran her fingers through his hair. "I like that," he said, just before burying his face into the juncture of her legs.
"OH! My God!" she cried out as he licked across her already swollen clitoris. Holding on to his head, she arched back, offering him a better angle. She fell onto the bed, bouncing slightly as she landed. He didn’t give her time to laugh in shock or delight. Instead, he spread her legs and began to devour her. His tongue seemed to be everywhere. All she could do was fist the bedspread in her hands and enjoy the incredible ride he was producing. Touching herself had never felt like this. His hands held her hips as he drank from her free-flowing juices. "Clay! Oh, oh, oh," she chanted. She played with her breasts, pinching the nipples. Whatever reservations she might have had about how he felt went right out the window. She arched up as her orgasm began, biting her lower lip to keep from screaming out loud.
As she slowly regained her breath, she watched him through hooded eyes. He stood up with a self-satisfied smile on his face. Waiting until he knew he had her full attention, he pulled the belt free from his pants. Slowly, he lowered his zipper until she could see the dark green silk boxers underneath. The material was stained with his pre-cum. She struggled to sit up as he pulled them down and kicked them away. "Very nice," she purred. "May I play?"
He gulped at her boldness. She knew how he’d seen her before, and she was determined to erase the image of a fragile saint. She didn’t wait for permission. Instead, she scooted to the edge of the bed and gently lifted his cock. Looking up the length of his torso, she noted the scars there. Later there would be time to discuss them and so much more. "May I taste you too?"
"Jesus, Harriet." He swallowed again, but managed a nod just before she kissed the head of his cock.
"Step back," she ordered. Rising with him, she urged him to turn around. "Now, sit down." Instead of complying, he kissed her again. She could taste herself on his lips. This time his tongue delved deep and his cock rocked against her stomach. Before she could insist again, he broke off the kiss and slowly lowered himself to the bed, bringing her with him until she covered him with her body. She broke free and stared into his eyes. "Not this time, huh?"
"No. Has to be later. I need to be inside you, Harriet," he demanded.
"Okay, but…" she paused and kissed him again. "I want you on top." She didn’t explain but she thought he understood. Since Bud had lost his leg, she’d assumed the top position in any of their sexual encounters. She wanted something different with Clay.
Rolling them over, he peered down into her eyes. "Whatever you want, however you want it," he grinned cockily. Spreading her hair out over the pillows, he manuevered himself between her legs and leaned down for another long kiss. His cock rested against her labia and she tilted her hips, desperately seeking completion. Kneeling back, he guided his cock inside, slowly stretching her. She was ready for him, but it had been over a year. She couldn’t contain her pleased shudder when she realized that Clay was quite a bit bigger than Bud. As that thought skittered through her mind, she vowed never to compare the two men again. Opening her eyes, she smiled sexily up at him. "Very, very nice."
"Am I hurting you?"
"No! God, you feel great!" She arched up, trying to draw him in deeper, but he gave her a grin of his own.
"None of that. I want to take my time and enjoy this. I’ve wanted a long time for this."
"Oh yeah? How long?" she panted.
"Well, let’s just say it was a good thing AJ woke up when he did on Christmas morning." Clay slid home and they both paused, their eyes locked on one other. "I wanted you so badly then. I wanted to show you how I felt, but couldn’t be sure you were ready. Harriet, it’s not just the boys. I’m not here because I want an instant family. How could you not know how much I want you?"
"Good. Then, take me."
Still, he went slowly. Pulling almost all of the way out before leisurely filling her again, he set up a measured rhythm. She wrapped her legs around his tight calves, trying to hold him closer. "Please, Clay. Harder."
"Harder? Are you sure?"
"Yeah. I want to feel you pound into me. I want it hard and fast and then I want to do it over and over and over again."
Joyful laughter filled the room. He gave her what she wanted. She could finally admit how much she had missed this. She relished his domination and possession of her. She’d always known that he respected her, now she knew he wanted her. Her. Not just AJ and Jimmy’s mom, but Harriet the woman. Another harder, longer orgasm took her at that point. She was only vaguely aware of his gasping release.
Later, though she had no recollection of how they got there, they held each other while snuggling under the covers. Opening her eyes, she sleepily murmured, "Again?"
He laughed gently and pulled her closer.
:: :: :: ::
Harvard Medical School
The Quad
June 6, 2024
They found their seats. James remained standing, searching for his brother with a look of concern on his face. "Excuse me for a second." he announced, not waiting for permission. Everyone made way for the determined Army officer as he strode through the mass of people.
"He looks good in his uniform," Mac told them.
Harriet looked at the empty chair next to Mac. "I wish Harm could have come. The Admiral…"
Clay laughed at her. "Has been retired for fifteen years, sweetheart. How many times has he asked you to call him AJ?"
"Well, I don’t care, he’ll always be the Admiral to me."
Mac gave her an inscrutable smile, just like she always did when the two men in her life were discussed. Harriet had no doubt that, for a very long time, AJ and Harm had held equal sway in Mac’s life. She was just glad that if Sarah Mackenzie needed two men, she hadn’t wanted Clay as one of them. "I understand Harriet. You can yell at them both of them this afternoon."
Harriet sighed and tried to arch up high enough to see over the sea of people. They had excellent seats, but between bobbing heads and her own short stature, it was extremely difficult to see beyond the next row. She would have to content herself with watching AJ walk across the stage to accept his diploma.
"Mac, at this rate I might fall asleep on the couch before I can yell at any of them." Her eyes scanned the fringes of the crowd but she couldn’t see Bud anywhere.
Vague guilt about her poor relationship with Bud was a constant companion. At one point, when AJ was eleven, she’d tried to initiate a distant friendship with her ex-husband. She’d felt she owed that much to the boys. Jenny, however, had been cold and discouraging. Even Bud hadn’t seemed that interested, though he’d told her he had set aside a trust fund for each of the boys.
"Not that they’ll need it," Bud had sneered. "Not with Mr. Gotrocks trying to buy their affection."
She’d ignored the jab at Clay. He didn’t need her to defend him. She’d never known if Bud had actually offered the accounts to either of the boys. Neither had mentioned it to her and she just didn’t care anymore.
Clay took her hand and she squeezed his tightly in response. Not that she and Clay hadn’t had their share of fights over the years. Some of them had been real doozies, usually concerning his job. But, they never fought in front of the boys. The gazebo he’d built in the back yard had hosted many a heated debate as well as some equally heated make-up sex. Many times they hadn’t even had an argument; just the make-up sex. A sly smile kissed her lips.
"That’s a wicked smile, Harriet," Mac pointed out.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Clay studying her. For a brief moment, guilt and anxiety were dispelled and she spared her friend a knowing wink. "Do you remember the conversation we had in the cab, right after the divorce?"
Mac looked puzzled for a moment, then tiny dots of color brightened her cheeks. "Well," she demanded, "Was I right?"
Harriet’s laugh was free of any guilt or embarrassment. "Dear God, yes!"
"Do I want to know what you two talked about in that cab twenty years ago?" Clay asked, releasing her hand.
"Pro-bab-ly." Harriet’s smirk mirrored one of his best.
"You gonna tell me?"
"Someday, lover. Someday soon."
It was Clay’s turn to blush. He didn’t bother looking at Mac. Instead, he leaned closer to his wife and whispered in her ear, "We’ll talk later."
"Well, if that’s what you’d rather do, I guess we can combine the two," Harriet sniggered. Mac, who couldn’t possibly have heard still threw back her head and laughed. Just then, a photographer snapped their picture.
"Hey, General….!" he glanced at the identity badge pinned to her uniform jacket, "….General MacKenzie! You gonna give a speech or something?."
Mac gave the man a pointed glare. "Just here with friends."
The young man would have continued, but James returned and edged him out of the way. "I hear Beyonce’s already arrived," he told them, loud enough for the man to overhear.
Clay laughed when the reporter hurried away. "I swear, if anyone would’ve told me that woman would be awarded an honorary doctorate from my alma mater…."
Harriet tuned him out, used to his distaste for this year’s celebrity honoree. She was concentrating on her son’s face. Had he seen his biological father? Had angry words been exchanged? Had the boys told Bud what they’d done?
AJ and James had come to her with their plan almost six months ago. They had sought her permission out of courtesy, already determined to follow through on the plan. She’d cried and hugged them both before gladly offering her blessing. She’d left if up to them as to whether or not they told Bud. Was that why he’d come all this way? She hoped Bud wouldn’t seek her out and accuse her of turning the boys against him. The very thought of him attacking Clay, today of all days, brought a militant gleam to her eyes. "James? Did you find your brother?"
"Yes." He took a deep breath. "Sorry, didn’t mean to snap at you, Mom."
Harriet brushed that aside and plucked on his sleeve. "Is AJ okay? Is your…Is Bud still here?"
"No. I guess Buddy only stopped in long enough for the photo op." James never called her ex-husband ‘Dad’ or even the more formal ‘Father.’"
"Now, James," Clay said softly.
James shook his head. "No, really. AJ told me you offered to find him two seats. That after you left to take your place again, ol’ Buddy told AJ he had a game in Atlantic City and couldn’t stay. That’s the only reason he even made an appearance today. I guess AJ told him, in no uncertain terms, not to even bother again." James glanced at his mother and winked.
Harriet knew then that AJ had probably told Bud about their plan. "I’m sorry I wasn’t there to see the look on his face, dear."
"Damn it," Clay started to stand.
James put a calming hand on Clay’s shoulder. "Don’t, Dad. It’s okay. To be honest, it’s been a long time coming. I’m just sorry, you’ll have to field another one of his phone calls later on tonight."
"I’ve taken them before."
"Well, this one might be the worst yet."
"Really? And why is that, son?"
James’ lips twitched, but he shook his head. "We’ll talk at the shore. Um, look, I think they’re getting ready to start."
Clay glared at James, but Harriet reclaimed his hand and squeezed warningly. He smiled ruefully and brought her hand to his lips. "Sorry," he whispered.
"For what? Being a fantastic father? For taking on the responsibility of another man’s family."
"Of course not. Raising those boys has been an honor. I’ll never apologize for loving them. I’m just sorry I let my temper get the better of me, that’s all." The music was starting and, still holding hands, they waited for the final ceremony to begin.
They’d married in the fall of 2005; two days later, he’d updated his will. Porter, bless her heart, had readily accepted them into her family. Harriet smiled as she recalled how hard her mother-in-law had worked to get AJ to call her something other than the dog’s name in Peter Pan. She’d left both boys generous bequests in her will. She still missed Porter Webb.
Porter had been more of a true grandmother to the boys than her own mother. Their Nana Sims had died of a heart attack three years ago while enjoying yet another Caribbean cruise. Harriet had considered it a fitting end.
As for the boys, she knew they accepted Clay as the only father they’d ever really known. Those first few months after they had gotten engaged, AJ had called him Uncle Clay. However, when Jimmy started calling him ‘Dada’ weeks before the wedding, AJ became more comfortable with ‘Dad.’ Clay had once told her, "That’s all the thanks I’ll ever need."
During the spate of normal teenage angst and crises, neither boy had ever used the dreaded, "you’re not my real dad" accusation. Harriet knew that was because, in every way that mattered, Clay was their real father. The respect and love the boys had for Clay was returned unconditionally. Now, as she sat waiting for the ceremony to begin, she had to wonder at the unbelievable circumstances that had brought her such a wonderful husband.
Considering how much this day meant to both of them, she just hoped that Clay would hang up on Bud when he called. During the past twenty years, when something had gone wrong in Bud’s life, or he’d gotten himself into some scrape or other – never anything too bad – Bud called Clay to moan and complain. Although he was far from a pushover, Clay would always listen patiently. There were times when he even helped Bud, although Harriet had strongly advised against it. So far as she knew, Bud never once even offered up a thank you.
Once the music died down, the presentation of the degrees began. Clay hadn’t bothered to pick up a program, but Harriet clutched one in her hand. Only Mac skimmed through hers, trying to find AJ’s name. Harriet was glad that she was sandwiched between Mac and her husband when she heard a startled gasp. Clay, sitting on Harriet’s left, never heard Mac’s uncensored remark over the ambient noise.
Finally, the presenters reached the R’s: "Thomas Albert Rizzoli. William Carter Romans….."
"Hey!" Clay hissed, "They missed his name."
"It’ll be fine, Dad." James assured him. "They’re probably saving the best for last."
"Where is he?" Clay demanded. Before he could rise from his chair, James’ hand took up permanent residence on his father’s shoulder.
"Dad, calm down. I saw him---remember? He’s still in his seat. He hasn’t gone up yet, but he will."
Harriet and Mac just stared straight ahead. Harriet slipped the program into her purse but Clay never demanded to see it. She was pretty sure he wouldn’t. At sixty-two, he was still the most handsome man she knew. He was also a bit vain about needing his reading glasses. "Harriet?"
"Yes Clay?"
"What’s going on here? Is this why you were so upset today?"
"No, darling." She leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth. "I have no idea what you’re talking about. Everything is just fine."
Only one hundred and fifty degrees were being conferred during this part of the commencement exercises. To Harriet’s mind, they were going by very quickly. Once the W’s had begun, she unconsciously held her breath. Mac leaned in close and whispered, "He’s going to have a stroke."
As Harriet turned to watch Clay, she noticed James fiddling with something on his chest.
"There he is!" Clay hoarsely shouted. "What the hell?"
He looked at Harriet and saw the tears in her eyes. "Oh, God. What did that boy go and do?"
"Anthony Jarrod Webb."
Harriet turned away from her husband and watched their son stroll casually across the stage. AJ accepted the diploma and shook the dean’s hand. Then, instead of continuing crossing to the other side of the stage, he turned and held up his diploma. It was frowned upon by the school, and seldom ever seen except during undergraduate ceremonies, but their son loudly announced to one and all, "Thanks, Dad!" before walking off the stage.
Clay rounded on James, ready for some answers. However, before he could form a coherent question, he noticed his youngest son’s identity badge. Where the tag had once read ROBERTS, it now proclaimed to the world that this young man was Second Lieutenant WEBB.
"Can you do that?" Clay whispered in total shock.
"Yes, sir! AJ – the Admiral, not the newly minted Doctor – helped. He went to court as our advocate and witnessed the paperwork. It became official the day after my graduation. We just wanted to wait to surprise you, Dad. Are you surprised?"
Clay fell back against his chair and, for a moment, Harriet was worried. Once she saw the tears tracking down his face, she simply pulled a tissue out of her purse and smiled at James. "He’ll be just fine."
It took half an hour for them to hook up with AJ out in front of the building. Beneath an old chestnut tree, Clay stood between both of his sons, unable to say a word. Harriet and Mac got several pictures of him with the boys’ arms around him. He finally regained enough composure to insist that Harriet join them. When the limousine pulled up, Clay’s driver held open the door, but asked Harriet, "Is everything okay, Mrs. Webb?"
"Of course Peterson. Why do you ask?"
"Mr. Webb looks a little pale."
"Well, he got a bit of a shock today. Check out James’ nametag."
"Well, damn me. Good work, ma’am!"
"I think so, too." As the boys followed Clay into the car, Mac stood next to her, waiting. "That was the sweetest damn thing I’ve ever witnessed," she sniffed.
"I have to agree with you there. Are you riding back with us?"
"No. My car’s just pulling up. The sergeant will have a fit if he has to follow me. I left my cell with him and there are probably a dozen messages already waiting. I’ll see you at the shore."
"Okay."
They rode in silence through the Boston suburbs. Weeks ago they’d planned a small congratulatory gathering at their vacation home in Marblehead. As usual, traffic was congested as everyone tried to leave the small college town. The fifteen-mile drive to the coast threatened to take more than an hour instead of the normal thirty minutes.
"Dad?" AJ asked. "It’s okay, isn’t it?"
Clay looked to where Harriet sat next to James and raised one brow, "You knew?"
"Of course. I’m their Mother; they asked me first."
"You’re getting better at keeping secrets, darling."
"I learned at the feet of the master." Her smile deflected any negative connotation from her comment.
Clay looked from James to AJ. "Is this why I’m going to get a phone call?"
"Yeah. Sorry about that, Dad. Couldn’t be helped. It’s okay, though, isn’t it?" There was a little-boy quality to AJ’s voice that neither parent had heard for several years.
"Okay? God, son." A huge smile lit his face. "I never thought….I never wanted to come between you and your father."
James snorted. "Oh, puh-leeze, Dad! That would have implied that he cared." He shook his head. "You know, years ago he told us what you wanted to do."
Clay paled as his eyes closed in remembered pain.
"What’re you talking about, James? Clay?" Harriet was more curious than upset. There had been too many Bud-related confrontations to keep up with over the years.
Clay wouldn’t look at her and James’ lips were pressed together in a tight white line of anger. It was AJ who took a deep breath, "It was at my high school graduation, Mom."
"What happened?"
"When? After the graduation? You never told her, Dad?"
Clay shook his head. "Why would I?"
AJ grimaced. "Because…oh, hell. How long are you going to keep protecting him?"
"Anthony Jarrod…Webb! You tell me right this minute."
"Harriet." Clay gently chided her. "Honey, it was just another…"
"C’mon, Dad, she needs to hear this. Right after graduation, good ol’ Buddy offered me money to go out there and attend UNLV. He actually asked me to live with him and Jen in that gilded palace they call a home. I told him I’d already been accepted at Harvard and didn’t want to be that far from you, Dad, and Jimmy."
"James," the other three corrected him.
"Whatever," but he gave his brother a huge grin. "You know how good ol’ Buddy gets." AJ always had trouble with what to call Bud. James had never had that problem, taking great delight in pissing off Bud by creating different variations of his first name the few times they saw each other. ‘Good ol’ Buddy’ was the one both boys seemed to prefer these days. "He gave us that same old song-and-dance about Dad trying to buy our affection over the years. Then he told us how glad he was that he’d refused to allow Dad to adopt us. Can you believe that creep? Oh, it gets better, Mom. He was so damn proud of what he told Dad."
"AJ! Don’t!" It was rare for Clay to speak harshly to either boy, but he could be firm when the situation called for it.
"Don’t worry, dear. I know all about it. Bud called me, too." Harriet studied her husband for a moment. "That was the time when you took the boys out for a visit and he was on one of his winning streaks. He barely had time for AJ, let alone a six-year-old. Not long after, he phoned and told me not to let you bring them out again. He said that if the boys wanted to see him, I should be the one to bring them. I told him that when the boys asked, I would be more than happy to bring them out.
James offered up his own disgusted laugh. "Why do you think I stopped seeing him? All those gifts and those checks, but he never had a clue…." James shook his head. "Like Dad says, it’s his loss." Leaning forward, he touched his nametag "This isn’t about good ol’ Buddy Roberts. It’s about our Dad." James turned toward his father, "Okay, sir?"
Harriet sat forward and grasped Clay’s hand. She could see the tears were once again tracking down his face. "You bet. Damned okay. This has got to be the proudest day of my life," he finally managed.
"I’m very proud of all my men." Harriet’s smile washed the last traces of pain from her face. "And I’m so very proud that you honored Clay in this way, boys."
AJ gave her a grin. "Hey, he’s our Dad. What else could we do? I mean, really! If he didn’t walk out on us after all the trouble we caused in Greece…"
Harriet rolled her eyes, but Clay laughed heartily. "At least you saved the girl, son."
"And eluded the police to make it to the embassy," James happily pointed out.
"Well, don’t forget that time we couldn’t elude the police," AJ reminded them.
"Oh, man! Christmas Eve. You have to admit, you were really mad that day," James agreed.
Tears of laughter were rolling down Clay’s face. "I was only mad because you let Harm talk you into doing his dirty work. You had no way of knowing it was the twentieth anniversary of Turner stealing his ‘Vette."
"Harm was properly contrite that day."
"Yeah, right. That dutch uncle of yours was laughing his ass off when the police informed us of your arrest."
"But you got them out of it." Harriet leaned across the seat and they shared a kiss.
"You know, you never did explain why, if you were so mad at Harm, you grounded us," AJ complained.
"I know." James laughed. "We’ve never let him talk us into anything like that since."
"Still, that was a bit harsh, Dad."
"It worked, son."
Harriet sat back and listened to them trade stories of past adventures gone awry. She smiled as the thought came to her, "Like father, like sons."