Part 1
San Diego Harbor
Early Morning
January 10
I really hadn’t meant to start following her. Oh sure, I should’ve just called out, "Hey, Sarah! What the heck are you doing in San Diego?" But I didn’t. Maybe it was way she was pacing on the docks, obviously talking heatedly to someone on her cell phone. I’m not sure why she didn’t throw it in the water, but she shoved it in her carryall, and began walking along the waterfront. I just wanted to make sure that she was okay, as any friend would. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
I was at loose ends and had dressed accordingly in cargo shorts and a golf shirt in heather green. Sunglasses and Merrill walkers completed my ensemble. It didn’t hurt the old ego when I noticed a couple of women checking me out.
Sarah, on the other hand, was completely oblivious to the men gawking at her. She was dressed for a day on a sailboat. She wore a one-piece swimsuit; the black spandex hugged her body and was clearly visible through the sheer white long-sleeved shirt she wore over it. Her shorts. Oh, damn. Sarah MacKenzie’s legs go on forever, and then some. People think my three-piece suits are my armor; however, Sarah’s Marine green goes a long way to hide, or at least soften, her finest asset. Though, the glimpse I got of her glorious prow left little to complain about in that department, either.
She picks up the pace, and at the rate she’s going, we’ll reach La Jolla in no time. Then she slows and looks up and down the street. She has no idea I’m even in the country. I don’t think she’s ever seen me this casual, and my Ray Bans reflect back the sun. I’m rather annoyed that she looks right past me, until I realize that this is what I do for a living, and maybe it’s a good thing.
However, instead of setting out again, she steps to the bus stop and waits for just a moment until another bus pulls up. Well, just great. How the hell am I going to handle this? Fortunately, several other tourists run up and get on after her, and I shrug and hop on board, all the while coming up with a lie to tell her when she busts me. But she seems to be seething about something, and ignores me completely.
It isn’t until the driver makes an announcement that I realize where we’re heading – Balboa Park, home of damn near every museum in this town. I would’ve thought that after living in DC she’d be spoiled. Fortunately for me, the bus never really empties and I’m able to remain near the front of the bus, and keep an eye on her position by the rear exit door in the driver’s mirror. By her expression, I figure out when she’s ready to debark, and it’s after the driver announces that he’s pulling right up to the main gate of the zoo.
I pay the twenty bucks and don’t mind a bit. It’s a beautiful day in Southern California, and when I got the call that my contact was a no show, I had no real plans. I decide that I couldn’t spend it in a prettier spot. I pause to watch her watching the flamingos, and I try to figure out a way to approach her. Her face is softening and I can see her releasing her anger bit by bit. She looks at the map in her hand, and then around, and we’re off again. She ignores the sky tram and the guided bus tours, and heads out through the dense foliated setting. It’s crowded enough for me to follow a dozen spies. But now, I want nothing more than to come up with a plan to join her. If she’ll let me. Suddenly, I’m feeling really stupid. But still I follow her. I follow her into the Australian building. I have to admit, the Tasmanian devils and koala bears are kind of cute, and I fall under their spell. Bad move for a spy.
"So, Webb, how long were you going to follow me?"
Busted. Well and truly. I find myself staring into her dark chocolate eyes. She reaches up and pulls off my glasses. "Hello, Sarah." My familiar use of her name gives her pause, and she raises her eyebrow. "Nice day for the zoo. How long are you in town?"
She purses her lips, then grabs me by the arm and leads me outside and around to the edge of the building. "Spill. What the hell’s going on?" She doesn’t look mad; worried maybe. Probably thinks Rabb’s in trouble.
I come up with several lies, but I decide on the truth for a change. Though I give it a Webb twist. Pulling my arm free, I put my hands on my hips and glare at her. "Well you see, there I was, down at the docks just looking around, wondering what I was going to do on my day off, when I spy these incredible gams. Best set of legs I’ve seen in a while; so being a red-blooded American male, I follow those legs up to the finest ass that I’ve ever seen." I put my hand to my chest, going all out for pure schmaltz. I mean, if she’s going to deck me, I might as well have some fun first. "Imagine my surprise when I discover that said legs and said ass belong to a very angry Marine whom I know, and have worshipped from afar for years." I brace myself for the punch I know is coming.
I sure as hell don’t expect an incredulous, "You like my legs?"
I stare at her for a moment. "Jesus, Sarah. Are you nuts? What did he say?"
"Huh?"
"The guy on the phone who pissed you off. What’s Rabb done now?"
"Rabb? Harm? It wasn’t Harm!" Her anger has returned and I’m kicking myself for bringing it up. You’re just too stupid, Webb. "No. It wasn’t Rabb. Rabb never lied to me. Sometimes I almost wished he had. No. Not really." She looks really sad and starts to turn away.
But I reach out, and it’s my turn to take her arm. "Sarah?"
"A guy. Okay. I guy I met on the base. I thought he was a nice guy. He asked me to go sailing with him today. I really didn’t want to spend three days out here alone."
"So, this guy stood you up?" I can’t believe it.
"You might say that. When I called his cell to find out where he was, a little kid answered it. Then a woman…" Tears form in her eyes. "I can’t believe I didn’t know."
I want to take her in my arms and hold her. Instead, I let my hand slide down her arm to take her hand. "So you decided, what the hell, let’s go see the zoo?"
"Yeah. Why didn’t you say anything? Why were you following me?"
I’m just thrilled she hasn’t pulled back her hand. "Wanted to know what was going on." I shrug and give her a smile. "Hey, it’s me. What did you expect? Direct? I thought I’d let you cool down first. But I was kind of worried." Okay. I can’t tell the truth for too long. It hurts.
"You’re lying," she says with little malice in her voice. "So?"
I’m not sure what question she’s really asking, so I just grip her hand even tighter. "So, we’re here, let’s go look at the tigers and lions and bears, oh my."
She snorts at my feeble joke but still doesn’t pull her hand away. "Why are you here, Clay?"
My name on her lips hits me somewhere south of my belt. I’m not going to embarrass myself, but it sounds really good on her lips. "Because I don’t want to fly all the way back home for one day, only to return on Monday. Because I can’t remember the last time I was at a zoo with such a beautiful woman."
"That’s the second time you’ve commented on my looks." She seems truly puzzled and I can’t believe she doesn’t know the effect she has on people in general, and men in particular. Somewhere in my chest of drawers I have a copy of that issue of People Magazine.
"What can I say?" I tug on her arm, leading her down a path. "I like ugly women."
Her blow to my arm doesn’t really hurt and she doesn’t try to pull away. "You know what I mean. You know me. You know what a bitch I can be. I’ve busted your chops and taken you to task. Hell, I insulted your manhood in Columbia. You still think…"
I pause at the beginning of the African exhibit and stare at the zebras. Releasing her hand, I lean against the fence. "I’ve always thought you were beautiful. Remember? I’m the one who bought that dress for you. You don’t remember the look on my face when I saw you in it?"
"Why now?"
"Why now, what? It’s fate, I tell you. We’re 2,500 miles from home. What are the chances that we’d run into each other?"
She snorts and turns me to look at her, and I know the question she’s really asking. Sighing, I turn back to the zebra. "Sarah. I can’t tell you why I’m here in San Diego. But, I swear to God, as far as I know, there are no Navy implications to my trip. I don’t plan on using you – or Rabb – for any nefarious purposes."
"Really? Pity." It’s her turn to smirk. I jerk around to see the small girn fading from her lips. "So. Two old friends are going to spend the day together at the zoo?"
I tuck her hand in my elbow. "Why not?"
The San Diego Zoo is big; too damn big, if you ask me. But it’s a beautiful day and we stroll arm in arm looking at meerkats, hyenas, the great cats, and the bear exhibits. We talk with each other like the old friends we should be. I hear about the Roberts family, and I share my thoughts about my mother. When the sun beats down on us, through the high walls of greenery of the sun bear forest, I check the map and then look at several of the well-placed signs. "Come on."
"Where’re we going?"
"Food."
"Okay, I could eat a hotdog."
"I don’t think so." I hurry her along the trail through Fern Canyon, barely noticing the birds, large and small. She seems to be on the same page until we reach the gorilla habitat and she jerks me to a halt in front of one family scene.
"Oh, Clay." I’ve never heard that tone from her before. "Would you look at the babies?"
I stand next to her and, while they are cute for monkeys I guess, I’m not really noticing them. I’m looking at Marine Colonel Sarah MacKenzie. Her face is soft and her eyes are bright, and I can feel the sadness, the yearning. "They’re really cute." I too feel a tug. I know I’ll never have children. I’ve never wanted them. I never wanted to do to a kid what my dad did to me.
"Look at the way she watches them. She lets them swing on the vines and play with each other, and yet, you know she’ll be there in an instant if something happens to them. They’re much better than some humans." I hear the tinge of bitterness and squeeze her hand.
"Come on. We’re close."
The Treehouse has the most spectacular views of the zoo and the park. I lead her up to Albert’s Restaurant and tip the guy way too much for a table with the very best view. But, she’s impressed and that’s all that matters. "Clay! Oh, my God. Look at that waterfall. You can see the gorillas from here. You can see most of the park. Good heavens."
"What?"
"Is that the entrance?"
I look to where she’s pointing and nod. "I can’t believe we walked that far. Hell you’d think we were back in Afghanistan."
"No." She smiles at me sadly. "No. There’s no mistaking Balboa Park for the Middle East." She looks into my soul and pronounces, "We’re really very lucky, aren’t we, Clay?"
Well, I know I am. But I see there’s something else, something deeper on her mind and after the waiter interrupts to take our order, I take her hand in mine and ask, "How so?"
"We have so much. As a woman, I can’t be any luckier, right?"
"Okay."
"So even if I don’t get everything…" She immediately blushes and turns away. But I pull her chin back to face me. "Nothing." I can see she’s fighting the tears.
"What?"
"Ignore me. It’s my birthday. I’m thirty-eight. I’m getting old and maudlin."
"I don’t believe I forgot." I know her birthday, just like I know her dress size. Hell, I know Rabb’s and AJ’s birthdays, too. Before today, it never mattered. What can I say? I lift my lemonade in toast. "Happy Birthday, Sarah. To the best looking woman I know."
Her face blushes a bright red and she looks away. "Thank you."
And suddenly, I really do believe in fate. A plan, fully formed, demands my attention. "This is great! This is fabulous."
"What’s great?" There’s suspicion on her face and I’m afraid she’ll nix it.
"After lunch, what else do you want to see?"
She looks like she’s going to insist that I answer her question first, but instead, she once again studies her map. "Well, you’ll think this is strange, but I’d really like to see the polar bears."
"Not strange at all." I study the map and point to a big red dot. "We can take the sky tram back."
"Okay. Then what? I see that look on your face, what do you have planned?"
"Well..." Then I get nervous. "Uhm…what are your plans?"
"Well, the plan was to spend the day sailing, then go to La Jolla for dinner." She holds up the canvas bag that I’d taken charge of somewhere after the tapirs. "I even brought a dress to change into."
I stare at the bag. The image of what kind of dress would fit in that bag has my heart beating faster still. "Okay. So, you were promised a cruise. Allow me to fulfill another man’s promise."
"Clay." Her hand is on my arm. "You don’t have to entertain me. I didn’t tell you it was my birthday because I wanted your…" Before she can finish I lean in, and shock us both. It isn’t the best kiss ever delivered. It isn’t even one of my better ones. I sit back and await my punishment. "Why’d you do that?" she whispers.
"Because I wanted to. Just like I’d be honored to celebrate your 38th birthday with you." And it’s true. What started out as an exercise to relieve my boredom has turned out to be one of the best days I can remember.
She must see the truth in my eyes because she smiles shyly. "So what’s that devious little brain of yours plotting?"
All I do is smile and wave at the food before us. "Eat up. I’m still working it out."
While she’s making a pit stop outside the polar bear pool, I make a couple of phone calls. Nothing very hard, the basic ingredient of my plan has been there all along. But, I want to make sure of the weather. I sure as hell don’t want to take the bus back. And, finally, a girl should have a birthday present. Mother would insist.
The ride back on the sky tram is as breathtaking as you can imagine. However, something that I’ve suspected about my Marine is confirmed. She faces her fears head on. "You don’t like heights?" I whisper as she moves closer, allowing me to naturally place my arm around her.
"Heights, as in office buildings, on the edges of mountains, or anywhere that isn’t going to plunge to the ground on a whim, I’m fine with."
"That’s what you get for flying with Rabb." I go for the joke but she jerks back and glares at me.
Then the glare turns to puzzlement, and finally a huge grin appears on her face. "I’ll be. You know, you may be right."
I hold my sigh of relief. I’m not sure what their relationship is, but I’m rather tired of standing on the sidelines waiting for the quarterback to make a pass at the head cheerleader. I’m going to put my own plan into play and see if I can’t score a touchdown. Not just in my bed, but in Sarah’s heart.
As we leave the zoo, I check my watch. I look up to see her eyeing the cabs. Good, she doesn’t have a strange fetish for public transportation. "Uhm… here’s our ride." I study her reaction. Frankly, the limo’s about the most conservative of my plans for the rest of the day – and if I’m lucky, the weekend.
"When did you do this?"
"While you were applying your lipstick at the polar bear rest stop." I exhale in relief as she leans in and kisses me on the cheek.
"You’ve got class, Clay. You definitely have class."
Traffic through the park is congested and I’m impressed that the driver makes turns I know I would’ve missed. Sarah stares out the window and I wonder if I’m worrying her. "Sarah?"
"Yes, Clay?"
"Look at me." When she does, I take a deep breath. "With the exception of a bit of embellishment on my part, I haven’t told you one lie today. I think you’re a beautiful woman, and I really would like to spend your birthday with you. I’ve made some plans that I hope to keep a secret, just for the fun of it. Those plans entail you returning to San Diego sometime on Monday. Do you have a conflict?" I hold up my hand to keep her still for a bit longer. "Because, if you do, I’m flexible and can have you home by midnight if there’s a carriage waiting to turn back into a pumpkin."
"No." I see the concern on her face. "No, I have no conflicting plans, but…"
Again I hold up my hand. "My plans include room to move around in, Sarah. They also include separate sleeping arrangements. I’m not pushing you." I quirk a slight smile. "Not that… well, let’s just say, you’re in complete control of that part. No pressure. I won’t be disappointed if all I get is a peak at that dress you were planning on wearing."
"No soulful looks of disappointment?"
"Please." I can manage an injured pout with the best of them. "I meant it." And, the funny thing I discover is I really do. I don’t consider myself a fool, and only a fool would turn down sex with the stunning creature next to me. But, I’m beginning to feel awfully protective toward Sarah. "I understand what ‘no’ means." I bring her hand to my lips. "I also can spot hesitation a mile away. Your choice."
She arches her eyebrow. "So? You aren’t going to try and seduce me?"
The laugh bubbles up and I can’t help it. "Of course I’m going to try and seduce you! What do you take me for?"
She has a glazed look in her eyes, but I can also see the appreciation there. I plan on making her forget that she ever had any plans today, other than meeting me at the zoo. "So. Exactly what did you bring in that bag of yours?"
"Well, I have my suit on. I’ve got these shorts and a top to change into. One change of undergarments, and the dress."
"Where’re you staying?"
"The base."
"Do you need to report in?"
"No. I’m checked out until I return, or Tuesday, when Harm and I have a deposition to take and decide on whether to submit the case for charges." She doesn’t tell me where Rabb is, and I’m not asking.
"Excellent."
"Do we have time to go back to the base so I can pack another change?"
"Nah. Already taken care of."
"Indeed!" Damn, she must have learned that glare from AJ. All she needs is a pair of reading glasses to really pull it off.
"Yes, ma’am. There’s a beach shop next to where we’re going. My treat."
We’re on the approach to the harbor now, right where I first spotted her early this morning. The limo pulls into the parking area reserved for boat owners, and I help her out of the car. I tip the driver and take her elbow. "This way."
The beach shop isn’t very crowded. I noticed this shop my first day here. It’s geared to the owners of the big boats on this dock. Sarah confers with an attendant who shakes her head ‘no’ but then leads Sarah over to a display of swimsuits, two-piece. Sarah nods and begins to flick through them. I figure Sarah wanted a change of underwear and the clerk suggested that she substitute swimwear. Sarah looks at the price tag and her eyes grow round. She returns a very sexy looking thong bikini to the rack. Lord, I want to see her in that.
"Get it," I say from my station near the cash register.
She looks up at me and shakes her head. I stroll over to where she’s standing and unerringly pull it back off the rack. "Please."
"Clay!" she hisses. "It’s two hundred dollars!"
"And your point?" I sigh and glower at her. "What else do I have to spend my money on? Please. I really want to see you in this."
"We’ll see about that." She grabs the suit then walks over to the sale rack. I roll my eyes, but she picks out a pair of shorts and a cute little top. I noticed the size. Still the same size she wore eight years ago. Damn. I’ve known this woman for eight years and I’ve never made a pass at her. Yeah, I’m the one who needs to give his head a shake. As she approaches the counter, I find a sundress that I know will look great on her. I hold it up behind Sarah’s back and the clerk quickly adds it to the bill. Sarah can’t see the total and the clerk knows better than to announce it. I hand her my card, hang the sundress on the rack before Sarah spins around and gives me a look.
"Take your stuff outside and grab me a bottle of water from the kid out there, okay?" I’m pretty sure that she has my number, but soon I’m next to Sarah taking the bottle from her. She looks at the package, then up at me. "Hey. I got something for me, okay?" The sight of her in this dress is my gift to me.
I lead her down the dock to the sailboat. "You found this while I in was in the bathroom?" she says. The awe is evident in her voice.
"Nope." I help her on board. "A friend of mine owns this and lent it to me for the duration of my stay."
"Whoa! Nice friends."
"Former roommate. Good guy. I’d like you to meet him, actually." It’d be nice to introduce Sarah to my friends, most of whom have given up trying to fix me up. "I’ve been staying here instead of a hotel."
"Why didn’t you stay with your friend?"
"He and his wife just had their third child in less than five years." I shudder. I notice that same hungry look I’d seen when she passed by a baby in a stroller and the baby monkeys at the zoo. I’m really beginning to imagine fate is a little old Jewish yenta. "So, you want a tour?"
"Holy cow."
I’m pleased that she seems to know her way around a sailboat. She inspects everything top side before checking out the cabin below. I don’t know what she was expecting, but she seems surprised that there are two staterooms. She spots the one I’m living in, and puts her bag down on the bed in the other one before turning to me, her arms crossed. She’s ready for some answers.
"So. Here’s the first part of the game plan." I really want to kiss her. "You were promised dinner in La Jolla. I know a place. You trust me?"
That earns me a snort, followed by a sly smile. "Not as far as I can throw you, buster. But I bet you can probably pick out a dining spot better than any three people I know. You need help with the boat?"
"Yeah, if you don’t mind casting off. I’m not going to use the sail for that. We’ll make better time with the engine. I’d like to get there at sunset."
"Will I have time to shower?"
"Of course. We’ll get out of the harbor, you shower and change, and I’ll moor the boat at the restaurant – they have their own docks. I’ll shower and change once we get there. Okay?"
"Sounds like a plan."
She moves around the boat with economy, casting off lines, sighting for me, and finally coming to stand next to me. "Where’d you learn to sail?" I ask her.
"Oh, I do have friends outside of JAG. Not many, but I’ve learned." She closes her eyes and deeply inhales. Somewhere, while casting off, she flung her shirt aside. The swimsuit is a simple one-piece. She’s a knockout in it, but it’s not provocative at all.
I have to ask. "So, the asshole? Was he someone you really liked?"
"Yeah. He was a nice guy. He didn’t come on real strong. It seemed like a nice enough time, better than sitting at the Officer’s Club."
"Better than the zoo?"
She turns and studies me for a moment, then brushes her lips across mine. "Better than the zoo alone." She sighs and looked back out at the ocean. "Hell, maybe it’s me." She says it so softly that I barely hear her. "He just invited me sailing. Maybe here in California, a married man can ask a colleague to go sailing with him and not have it mean anything." She looks at me and we share a ‘yeah right’ look.
She leaves me to go and prepare for dinner. I just hope that the owner, a friend of the guy who loaned me the boat, gets the package and sets up the table just right. It’s a nice place, and I know I don’t have to worry about all the waiters singing happy birthday. Somehow I think she’d walk out on the first guy that ever did that to her.
The restaurant has a guy that does nothing but grab your mooring lines for you. Evidently, I’m expected, because he signals me to a choice spot near the main dock. "Mr. Webb?"
"That’s right. We’ll be about a half-hour."
"Not a problem, sir. Mr. Moss called and told us to expect you." His eyes widen and I turn to see what he’s looking at.
"Holy cow."
The dress is black jersey and simple. And, like the swimsuit, not provocative at all. Except on her. Dear God, I’m glad that my shorts are loose. I’m particularly glad to see her neck is bare. She glances from me to the boy, and instead of the self-assured look of a beautiful woman, she appears worried. I suspect that her relationship with Rabb has colored her view of herself. I become even more determined to make this woman see just how damn pretty she is.
She looks down at the dress and whispers, "Is it okay?"
"Lady, you’re going to make enemies of every woman in the restaurant tonight."
"Stop it." She blushes.
"Never," I whisper seductively as I walk down to the cabin. "There are bottles of water and diet soda in the fridge. I’ll only be a bit." I hurry through my shower. The electric razor slides across my face. Dinner at these places is casual, charcoal gray slacks and a black tee shirt, topped off by a silk sport coat will work. I hurry back up top. She’s standing, facing away from the dock, looking out at the sun that’s still a good hour away from setting. The light sets her hair aflame. Every eye in the restaurant is on her and she doesn’t even know it.
I walk up to her and wait. "It’s fantastic," she breathes.
Damn straight it is, and I’m not talking about the sunset or the boat, or anything but the beauty in front of me.
"Ready?"
The owner himself shows us our table next to the window. After she lets me push her chair in for her, she looks around the room that’s all walled in glass or wine cabinets. The only decorations are huge vases of flowers. The tables are glass topped, and linen placemats take the place of tablecloths.
She studies the room and then me. "You don’t even think about it do you?"
"What?" I unfold my napkin and take a sip of my water.
"The fact that you wield the power to just sail right by all those people who were here before us. My God, I recognize that guy. He was in a television series last year."
"Which is why he’s waiting."
"Cute." She looks nervous and I want to make it better, but while I’ll go out of my way to seduce her, I can’t change who I am or the people I know.
"Sarah? Are you uncomfortable? Do you want to leave?"
She must see the fear on my face, because she takes my hand and squeezes it. "Uncomfortable? Perhaps." Then she gives me a wicked grin. "But it’s kind of fun."
"Good."
We dine on fresh fish and both drink water with our meal. "Clay, you can order a drink."
"Not with what I have planned for later."
"A hint?"
"Unfortunately, it will entail you changing back into your shorts and shirt."
"So we’re going for a sail?"
"Yes."
"A moonlight sail?"
"According to the weather forecast, definitely a moonlight sail."
"Good."
The waiter clears the table, and I spot the owner standing at the door of the kitchen. I give him a brief nod and he smiles and holds up the box for me to see. I turn my attention back to Sarah. "Desert?" I ask.
"Chocolate?"
"Is there any other kind?"
"Share with me?"
We tell the waiter to bring the flourless chocolate cake and coffee. When the tray comes, the owner follows and places the thin blue box before her. "Allow me to wish you a very happy birthday, Colonel MacKenzie."
She looks at the box then at me, then back at the box. My nerves have returned full-force. But I manage a calm, "Happy birthday, Sarah."
"How? When? Damn it, Clay." She recognizes the box and glares up at me.
"Hey. It was short notice. It was either this or the key ring with the gorillas on in."
She takes a deep calming breath. I pray she doesn’t tell me she can’t accept it. "You’re going all out, aren’t you?"
"Damn straight, and having a blast doing it." I keep the smile on my face, but I’m really worried I went overboard by getting something from Tiffany’s. But like I told her, I was working from a cell phone. "Don’t worry, it’s not an engagement ring – or diamonds for that matter." Still she just stares at the box. "Sarah, please."
She pulls off the silver cord and opens the box. "Oh. Oh, Clay." She picks up the sterling silver choker and fingers the heavy links. "Tiffany" is stamped on the wide ring where the toggle anchor slips through. Then she peers at the tiny heart. "SM – CW" Turning it over, she continues, "San Diego 2003."
"Can I put it on for you?" She doesn’t need me too, but I stand and walk behind her. Every eye in the place is on us, and I curse the fact that this restaurant doesn’t have a private room. Her skin is hot against my hands. Quickly, I connect it and let her twist the heart around to sit in the hollow of her neck. "It looks really nice with the dress."
"I’m a little overwhelmed here, Clay. I feel I shouldn’t take it. Nothing from Tiffany’s…"
"Sarah." I sit back down and take her hand. "I’ll make you a deal."
"What?"
"You’ll let me pamper you tonight. We’ll walk along the street and look in the shop windows. I promise I won’t buy you anything else, unless you say, ‘Clay, I want that.’ Then, we’ll hop back on board the boat, and, if you still want to, we’ll sail into the sunset – or at least as far as we can go and still get you back to the base in time on Monday." I give her a tentative smile. "And, the next place we dine, you can buy."
"Damn straight, buster." I can see the tears in her eyes.
"Do you like it?"
"Actually, it’s perfect." She sniffs and quickly grabs up her folk. "Now, dig in. I don’t share chocolate well."
The night is beautiful but the streets are crowded to the point where neither of us are enjoying ourselves. We certainly can’t talk, so I lead her back to the boat, tip the kid and back us out into the ocean. She goes below deck and quickly returns. She’s wearing her shorts, top and boat shoes, but she hasn’t taken off the necklace. It looks great on her. "Well, Captain Webb? Seaman MacKenzie awaiting her orders, sir."
"I bet that killed the Marine in you to say that."
I get a bright smile for my effort. Together, we set the sails. The wind is perfect for an evening trip. But now comes the time when I have to ask. "So, north toward Santa Barbara and shopping, or south toward Baja and whales?"
"Oh, no question, though it’ll get me kicked out of the girls’ club. Definitely Baja and whales."
"Outstanding."
We make excellent time. The lights of San Diego are brilliant, casting the harbor in a fairytale light. I’ve the princess aboard my ship, and I feel like a damn pirate. She comes over to me. "You trust me to take the wheel while you go change? You can’t be comfortable in those slacks, though you look damn hot."
"I do?"
"Yeah, you do. But I grew rather fond of your legs this afternoon."
"You did?"
"Go."
I pull the tee shirt over my head before I descend, and she does not disappoint. Her wolf whistle gives me goose bumps and I consider going bare-chested. But not tonight. The sea breeze is kicking up, which will help us make better time, but it won’t be comfortable against the skin. It’s not cold by any means, but I don a tee shirt. I’m just glad to get out of my dress shoes. The seas are very calm tonight, but one slip and I’ll be overboard or worse, I’ll break something and wouldn’t that be fun?
I join her back on deck, and she moves to let me take the wheel. "You’re doing fine." I sit across from her. Stretching out, I put my hands behind my head. "Is this the life or what?"
"It’s nice. Is this what you want to do when you retire?"
"Retire? Lord, I haven’t even thought about it."
She looks at me long and hard. "You really do like what you do."
"Yeah." I try to not get defensive about it. But I think she sees something on my face. Damn this moon. "Yeah, I like what I do. Not all the time. Sometimes it’s awful. Sometimes I have to make decisions that haunt me. But I know what I do is important."
"Good for you. It’s hard sometimes, justifying your existence, isn’t it?"
"Who makes you justify your existence, Sarah?"
She looks out to sea. "Mostly myself. But…"
I wait and finally she begins to talk. She tells me things that shock me. Not because I didn’t know about Farrow or her dead not so ex-husband, but because she’s opening up to me. None of it bothers me until she begins to talk about Harm. As she tells me everything that he’s said to her over the years my anger grows. Not just with him, but with her. "Why? Why do you let him get away with that stuff? Why the hell didn’t you call him on it?"
She looks so sad that I feel like a heel. But she meets my angry gaze dead on. "Because, for a long time, on some level, I believed what he said. Look, Clay, you can’t understand. You have no idea what my life was like growing up."
"No, I don’t. But you think mine was so easy? Your mother ran out on you. That’s tough. I don’t know what I would’ve done without mine, but it was hard. Hard to understand when your dad doesn’t come home. Hard to be the man of the house. Hard to live up to her expectations. You know, it never even occurred to me to rebel. I don’t think I ever once got drunk in high school or college. You think I don’t know that Rabb thinks I’m a momma’s boy?"
"I don’t think you’re a momma’s boy, Clay." She takes a deep breath and lets it out. "And you want to know the honest to God’s truth?"
I know she’s going to say she wants to just go back to the harbor, but I strangle out, "What?"
"I no longer give a damn what Harmon Rabb says about me. I am what I am. I know the way I look. And, I saw the way those men looked at me tonight. Some of it was pure lust, and maybe that’s okay, too. But this one guy, when I went to the ladies’ room, he stopped me. You know what he said?" I shake my head. "He said to tell you that you’re one lucky son-of-a-bitch and that I was truly beautiful. And he kissed my hand. He didn’t leer; he didn’t pinch my fanny. He did look me up and down, and I’ve never felt so appreciated, just for my looks. I’ve always felt I didn’t deserve that kind of appreciation. I never did anything to cultivate my looks. Hell, I’ll probably be an ugly old fat broad. But you know what? I don’t care. I know I’m a good lawyer. Hell, Clay, I made Lieutenant Colonel three years before I should’ve. The Admiral gives me great reviews and, trust me on this, he’s busted my chops plenty of times. So I know I deserve the reviews. I don’t talk about people behind their backs. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I’ve paid for every one of them."
"Unlike a certain jet jockey who shall remain nameless?"
"No. I’m not going there, Clay." At my look she sighs and continues. "I know his faults. I can cite them chapter and verse. He’s done things that would’ve gotten other men kicked out of the Navy."
"You mean like that meeting he took with Castro?"
"Hush." But she grins. "Yeah, like that. But that’s not why I don’t want to do it. It’s a beautiful night. I’m on a sailboat with a hottie, and I refuse to give Harmon Rabb one more second of power over my life."
I almost choke. I sit up and glare at her. "What did you call me?"
Sarah MacKenzie’s laugh is a gift from God. It floats out over the ocean, and as if in answer, a dolphin breaks the surface of the water. It paces us for a while and during that time I stand next to her, both of us entranced by his presence. When he tires of us and swims away, she looks into my eyes. "You think it could be just you and me on this boat for the rest of the weekend?"
I rest my hand over hers on the wheel before placing my mouth on hers. My arm around her pulls her closer and this kiss is much better than the one at the zoo. There’s no demand, just a promise, and I allow her to be the one to seek entrance first. I part my lips and suck her tongue into my mouth. Her free hand wraps around my back, and dear God, I want her. I want her on a primal level, and I vow that I will not screw this up. Pulling back, I kiss her nose. "Just you and me, kid."
Her smile is my reward. "Why don’t you take the wheel and I’ll go make coffee."
I anchor off a small cove. There’s not another boat in sight and the cliffs above us are dark, save for the moonlight. We sit together and sip our coffee, silent now, just letting the sea work its magic. Finally, she looks over at me. "You know, I’m going to regret this, but I think I’ll turn in now."
I know what she’s telling me, and on one hand I’m disappointed but on the other, I’m not sure I mind all that much. She’s opened up to me and I know she deserves the same from me. Eight years I’ve know this woman and yet, tonight is the first night that we’ve really talked. Standing, I walk up to her, take her hand in mine and kiss it softly. "He was right. I am one lucky son-of-a-bitch. Good night, Sarah." She bites her lip, but I shake my head. "Remember what I said, I can spot indecision a mile away. Go on. I’ll see you in the morning."
I secure the boat, checking things twice. I wipe down the counter in the galley, even though Sarah made sure to clean up the coffee ‘mess.’ She even rinsed the carafe and put it in the drainer. Everything is ship shape. I pause at her door and murmur goodnight too low for her to hear, and make my way to the master stateroom. I know I’m going to lie in bed all night, praying that she comes to me. I don’t know if I’ll be able to turn her away.
The barking of a dog outside my window seems strange. I live in Alexandria in a townhouse. There are no dogs. I sit up in bed, disoriented for a moment before I remember where I am. The barking is louder, but I know it’s not dogs. It’s lions – sea lions. I peer out the window. The fog has settled in and I can’t see them. But I know they’re out there. Cursing softly, I use the head and pull on my shorts. By the time I’m outside, Sarah has made another pot of coffee. She’s sitting there in her swimsuit and shorts. "Morning?"
"Just." She’s grouchy, which is okay. I’m not a big talker in the morning. I pour my own cup of coffee and open a cabinet. "Cereal okay?"
"Just coffee." She glares at me like I’m going to argue with her. I don’t. She’s a big girl and whatever she’s doing looks damn good to me, even in the early morning fog of not quite being awake yet.
We sit there in silence, but it’s not a bad thing, just quiet. As I eat my cereal, I begin to wake up a little more. After filling my cup again and topping hers off, I make another pot. I’m really glad I bought three pounds when I came on board.
"This is really good coffee." She yawns, but continues. "What brand?"
"Got me. There’s a coffee place in that mall to the south of the harbor."
"Oh, yeah. I’ve been in there. I bought little AJ a stuffed dolphin there."
"That’s nice." Oh yeah. We’re doing great. And then she stretches and I fall in love with her. No. That’s not true. I’m not in love with her, not yet. But damn, old man lust has reared his head, and mine.
"So. What’s on the agenda for today? How far can we go before we have to turn around and come back?" She sounds almost sad about having to turn around. That makes me feel kind of good. I stand and grab the charts. "Well, depending on the wind, I think we can make it all the way down to Ensenada. But, there are a couple of neat little fishing villages all along here."
As she nods her head I’m very aware of her scent wafting between us. Damn, this is nice. Just the simple chore of deciding where we’re going to go today is something that I want to get used to. "Well then, I guess we better weigh anchor."
As I open the hatch, the sound of the barking sea lions is almost overwhelming. We busy ourselves with the early morning maintenance of the boat, checking the engine as well as the sails. By the time the mist clears enough for us to see where we’re going, we stand at the aft of the boat, awe struck.
"Wow. How did we miss them last night?" The rocks and the water around us are full of the mighty creatures. And, by the looks of them, they’re none too pleased with our intrusion. I’m not really afraid, but quickly weigh anchor so we can haul our butts out of here. I just hope that none of them are near the props when I rev her up. The first cough of the engine has them fleeing the scene, roaring at the top of their lungs.
I concentrate on getting us out to sea, but Sarah stands next to me, mesmerized. "That was so cool."
We head south and the sun climbs. Sarah brings me a fresh cup of coffee and I notice that she found my stash of Twinkies. "Holding out on me I see."
"Hardly. I just thought I was the only person older that six to consider them breakfast food."
"You’re kidding me, right? This," she holds up the golden cake, "is truly the breakfast of champions." She gives me a bite and laughs when I nip her fingers. She helps me raise the sail and we work diligently for a while. The wind is perfect and we pass a few other pleasure craft and wave. I stay close enough to shore so we can see some of the picturesque towns, though they’re being slowly overshadowed by condominium developments. It’s a great view and I really can’t damn anyone for choosing this as a place to retire.
Around lunch, Sarah must come to a decision. It’s one that I don’t mind at all. She goes below deck and returns shortly in the white shirt she wore yesterday. Only today it serves the purpose she’d always intended. Slowly, teasingly, she lets it fall to her feet and my mouth goes dry. She finds a spot at the bow of the boat, and damn, she actually poses for me. The tiny triangles barely cover her aureoles. The thong leaves little doubt that she shaved her mound smooth.
"So you ever going to anchor and maybe let us get some swimming in?" she calls.
There’s a cove about ten nautical miles from here and it doesn’t take long to reach it. It’s early yet and all the boats, sail and yacht, are still far out to sea. I drop anchor and walk up to where she’s still sitting. Her arms are stretched out behind her and she’s resting her weight on them, which does really quite remarkable things to her chest. I lick my lips and stare down at her. Images that no gentleman should have flicker through my brain. I want to take her right here. In front of anyone who might be walking the cliffs above us, or who might have binoculars on the boats so far away. I want to proclaim to the world that this woman is mine. Instead, I really do give my head a shake and I sit down next to her, hip to hip, but facing her instead of side by side. "You know you’re driving me nuts?"
"Good. You want to put lotion on me?" She has that sly look that tells me she knows where this is going.
Reaching out, I pull her to me. Our lips meet and she rests her hand between my legs, putting glorious pressure on my cock, which has been hard since her shirt hit the deck. My free hand isn’t idle. I squeeze Sarah’s breast and she groans in my mouth. Pulling back, I study her. "You’re sure? You’re very sure?"
In answer, her hand slides up the gap between my shorts and my leg. I hadn’t bothered with underwear this morning. Maybe I always knew the day would end like this. I know I’d hoped it.
"Uhm…very nice." She waits, staring into my eyes, never flinching away. She sees only me and what she sees, or maybe what she feels, makes her smile. "Clay. Take me to bed."
I’m unsteady getting to my feet. But I help her up, pulling her too hard. She’s back in my arms and I’m ravaging her mouth. She’s the one who leads me to the cabin steps and into my stateroom. Pushing me onto the bed, she immediately tackles the zipper to my shorts. I don’t know when I lost my boat shoes. I manage to pull off my tee shirt.
"Oh, very nice indeed, Mr. Webb." She strokes my cock like it was a kitten. "Very soft and oh, so hard. May I taste it?"
"Oh, God, Sarah. Please." I don’t know when I lost control. I don’t care. Her mouth on my cock is eternal damnation and salvation all rolled into one. The suction is almost unbearable as she pulls me deep into her mouth. She moves up and down, first fast and then slowly. One hand circles what she doesn’t take in, the other is busy tormenting my balls. "Sarah, please. I want to touch you. Let me taste you."
She pulls up and I see that same surprise on her face. "Really?"
I sit up, my own arousal now firmly on the back burner. "Come here." My voice is harsh and I think she thinks I’m angry with her. I silently pray that all the men who’ve mistreated this incredible woman rot in hell. "Please. Let me make love to you."
She kneels on the bed before me. I reach out and caress her cheek, urging her closer. Laying her on the bed next to me, I gently kiss her eyes. "You’re so damn pretty. So hot and sexy. Thank you."
She bites her lip unable to speak for a moment and I answer her unspoken question. "Thank you for letting me spend your birthday with you." I trace the links of the necklace that she never removed. "Thank you for accepting the small token in honor of your birthday. But most of all, thank you for just being there throughout the years." And then I shut the hell up and show her how much she means to me. More than even I knew yesterday morning when I first saw her standing there. Wherever you are asshole, I thank you for that.
I have to taste every inch of her. My tongue delves deep into her mouth and my hands are busy working the tiny triangles away from where I need to be. Her nipples are so hard that I know I’m hurting her as I pinch and pull, but her only response is to groan and stroke my hair. She tries to reach my cock but I keep her from it. I have no intention of coming anywhere but inside her. She cries out as my mouth sucks her breast, not just the nipple, but the skin around it.
"Oh, Clay. Oh, yes. Just like that." Her hand tries to keep me there, but I have more exploring to do. I rest between her thighs. The nothing she’s wearing there is soon somewhere behind me. My cock is so painfully hard that the sheet’s friction almost sends me over the edge. Her smell is heady and I’m almost dizzy from wanting her. I stroke her inner thighs, coaxing them open even wider until she arches up, begging me. "Please, Clay. I need you inside me."
"Not yet. Please, may I taste you?" I don’t wait for her answer but bury my face between her legs. She’s so wet already. I lap at her juices, my nose tight against her clit. Her fingers weave through my hair and she no longer wants anything but what I’m giving her right now. I’m drowning in her scent. My tongue and my fingers have her on the edge and one last nuzzle of my nose and she’s chanting my name. My name. There’s no hesitation, no stutter. "Clay!" Over and over, and it’s too much. I have to have her. I crawl up to plunge inside her. "Oh, God!" She arches back, coming yet again. Or perhaps she never came down.
I lift her legs and hold them apart, pounding into her. I’ve never been so out of control. Tight! So damn tight! Like a glove or a velvet vice, or any other damned cliché you prefer. I don’t even know if I’m hurting her. But the look on her face never waivers, it’s one of pure ecstasy. "Please, more, harder," now becomes her chant. And finally, with a roar that would put those damn seal lions to shame, I come. I don’t think I’ll ever stop. Pulse after pulse fills her and it isn’t until I’m coming down from my high that I curse myself for not using one of the Trojans I had in the nightstand.
She pulls me down on top of her and hugs me tight. Neither of us can catch our breath, and I know that I’m too heavy for her. Carefully, pulling her with me, I roll to her side. Once we’re facing each other, I trace the line of her cheek. "That was incredible."
She smiles sleepily. "Oh, yes." Her eyes flutter closed for a moment then pop back open. I can see the fear in her eyes. She’s suddenly thinking the same thing I was. "Oh, God."
I put one finger on her lips. "Hush. It wasn’t very bright of us. But it’ll be okay."
"But Clay. I’m not… Oh, God."
"Sarah." I cup her cheek. "Do you want to get the morning after pill? I’ll go up right now and turn the boat around."
"I won’t get an abortion, Clay." There’s a fierce determination in her voice. I’m not sure if she’s planning for the contingency or equates the pill with termination. Some people, I suppose, might consider it as such.
"Sarah, I’m not asking you to. I’m really sorry I lost control. But I’m not sorry I made love to you. And forgive me if it’s not what you want to hear, but it was love that I made to you. I’m not asking you to marry me, yet. But whatever you decide, I’m there for you."
She rolls away from me, facing the opposite direction and I’m rather surprised she doesn’t get up and run out of the room. Taking that as a good sign I snuggle up behind her, draping my arm over her stomach. "Talk to me, Sarah?"
"You don’t understand."
"Then explain it to me."
"I should’ve stopped you."
"I’m not really sure that you could have." With that she rolls back to face me.
"Bull. No means no. You would’ve stopped if I asked."
"I’m humbled by your confidence in me." That brings a smile to her lips. "I don’t think that any woman has ever affected me the way you have these past two days. I’m always so in control."
She snorts and lies back to study the ceiling overhead. "Control? I’m the poster child for what happens when a person doesn’t stay in control. You would’ve thought I learned from all the others." She bites her lip and a fat tear courses down her cheek. "That’s more scary right now than whether or not I’m pregnant. It’s how easily I let you take control. I think that’s why I dragged you down here. I wanted to be the one to make the choice."
I push up off the bed and lean over her so I can see her eyes. "Is that what you thought? Did you at any time WANT TO STOP? If I remember correctly, I told you that you were in charge of this part of the cruise. I don’t remember looking at you with soulful disappointment."
She doesn’t try and evade my harsh look. But her eyes are so sad. Before she can say anything, I lower my lips to hers and gently kiss her. "I’m sorry." I roll off the bed and start for the door, but a pillow to my head jerks me back around. "What!"
"Damn it. Don’t you go away! We aren’t finished here."
I stare at her in wonder. "What exactly do you want?"
She closes her eyes then opens them. "Time to think."